IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

In many developed countries, fast food is cheap and widely available. Many people tend to choose unhealthy options. Why do many people tend to choose unhealthy options? What can governments do to solve this problems?

#countries #food #people #options #governments
The diagram
Correct your spelling
below
show examples
bellow
Correct your spelling
below
show examples
 displays the
step by stem
Add a hyphen
step-by-stem
show examples
 operation by which
milk
 and products
such
cheese
Change preposition
as cheese
show examples
, cream and butter are produced. Overall, the operation includes 8 stages which are man-made and linear. It begins with cows grazing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the farms.
Then
 its
second
 step is milking cows twice a day and the final step is sending the products into the markets and shops.
First
 of all, cows must be grazed and moved to
special
Add an article
a special
the special
show examples
 place where people
milk
 them. After, all of the collected
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
, it will be sent to refrigeration storage. It will help the
milk
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not get
bad
Replace the word
worse
show examples
.
Then
 it moved to a tanker where
milk
 will be daily delivered to
Dairy
Correct article usage
the Dairy
show examples
. Following that, In the Dairy, people divide the
milk
 into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two groups.
Frist
Correct your spelling
First
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
milk
 will be taken to produce other products
such
 as cheese, cream and butter. The
second
,
milk
Add a missing verb
is milk
show examples
 will be put in pasteurized bottles and get packaged. From
this
, every
milk
 product is
sending
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
 into the markets and shops.
Submitted by fkorchiyev on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: