IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nations should spend more money on skills and vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to
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 ongoing changes and shortages in the labour market, some contend that the vast majority of funding for tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 should be put into practical courses rather than academic ones. Despite strong arguments to support
this
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, I can only agree with
this
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 to some extent. The push on a global scale to get more graduates with
university
Use synonyms
 degrees has led to a lack of manual workers
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such
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, such
show examples
 as plumbers and electricians
and
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, and
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 an excess of white-collar workers.
As a result
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 of
this
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, skilled tradespeople can earn much higher wages than in the past
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whereas
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, whereas
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university
Use synonyms
 graduates are leaving
university
Use synonyms
 with huge debts from student loans. Recently, it was reported that 1000 people applied for one job in a restaurant
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 many of the applicants were graduates. Having a degree,
therefore
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, does not necessarily lead to a well-paid, high-flying job.
Nevertheless
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, for some fields
such
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 as medicine or
education
Use synonyms
, an academic
university
Use synonyms
education
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 is a prerequisite. Worryingly, the number of doctors in undergraduate training is dropping at an alarming rate
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
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 will lead to a scarcity of GPs and surgeons in the near future. To combat
this
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, there needs to be more investment in secondary and
further
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education
Use synonyms
 to try to encourage more school leavers to take
this
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 career path. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 funding for vocational training is a must,
this
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 should not be at the expense of academic
education
Use synonyms
. Despite the threat of a worldwide economic recession, funding in all aspects of
education
Use synonyms
 needs to be a priority
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it should be allocated to vocational and academic courses on an equal basis.

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task
Make your view clear in the first line and keep it in all the paragraphs.
coherence
Start each paragraph with a clear main idea and keep to one idea in each paragraph.
lexical
Use simple words and give more exact examples to support each point.
grammar
Check grammar and sentence parts to avoid long or misread sentences.
structure
The essay shows a clear point of view and some balance in view.
cohesion
Links are used to join ideas and show links between parts.
content
A few good examples are given to back the ideas.
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