Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Some may argue that the main source of happiness in

life

money

. While I agree that financial wealth can make us happy to some extent, I do not compare that it is a key to each and every problem in our

life

. So there are other things

such

as friends and family that can bring joy. I mentioned above, an instrument which makes leaving easier. For a variety of things from consumer products to healthcare and Social Security, we need to spend

money

. Having said that, I do not believe that being rich can make a person fortunate. If so, we would not read and hear about so many celebrities and media moguls who suffer from depression and even commit suicide. As a matter of fact, the real source of Joy and feeling content are other things. One of them is our social network: friends, family, neighbours and so on. The relationship with others has a great impact on unloading us.

For instance

, in the event of difficult times, having a heart-to-heart with a close friend can relieve the pain. Another important factor is the mindset. The way an individual sees the various aspects of

life

is influential to his or her emotions.

For example

, for an excessive perfectionist who can never get satisfied with his doings or what he has, it is arduous to reach a happy point. Another example is the people who believe the more they give the more they feel fortunate and they practice it in real

life

Finally

, the ones we have around or integral to our happiness since their positivity can add 2 hours, the love the competition they offer enriches our

life

. To sum up,

although

I cannot deny that

money

matters and makes

life

more comfortable in so many ways, I am in accord with those who think other factors like friends and perspective can surpass the power of

money

in many aspects.

Submitted by e.tarzamni on Tue Jun 21 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Fully explain your ideas

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some parents buy their children who they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have on children as they get older?

These days, scientists can tell whether a child will become criminal or not by examining the child at an age of three. Do you agree that crime is a product of human nature? Do you think we can stop children from becoming criminals?

Some feel that individuals should try to assimilate completely to the country where they live while others feel it is more important to preserve their native culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There are many people who go to live in different countries. To what extent should people be allowed to move freely between countries and live where they choose? What are the benefits and drawbacks of this?