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It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking a risk out with the disadvantages?

#people #risk #lives
Nowadays, due to the competitive society,
people
 need to take
risks
 not only at their workplace but
also
 in their individual life. Some
people
 support that it is beneficial to
people
, whereas others argue that there are more drawbacks. In
this
 essay, I will briefly explain several advantages and disadvantages and give my opinion.
First
 of all, undertaking
risks
 can truly benefit our personal lives.
For example
,
high
Add a hyphen
high-risk
show examples
risk
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
show examples
 can generally earn more money than others.
For
Change preposition
In
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personal
Correct pronoun usage
our personal
show examples
 lives, every challenge which we need to overcome is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 opportunity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 promotion, including negotiating with clients and finding
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
investor
Fix the agreement mistake
investors
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. These can strengthen
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 ability
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their work.
Secondly
,
people
 can
also
 learn from failure after they
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
risks
.
Although
 the failure may make
people
 upset, it can encourage
people
 to work harder
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
next
 time.
Moreover
, they can gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience from the task that how to reach the goal.
In addition
, they will become more ambitious during the
next
risk
 that they need to take.
On the other hand
, taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 is a stressful task
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 everyone. The cost of
risk
 may be too critical that
people
 can not hold.
For instance
, it may cause
financial
Add an article
a financial
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 if they fail on investment. To be worst, if they can not release the pressure, it will cause negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
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 their mental. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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news
Change preposition
of news
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 about
people
Correct pronoun usage
who decide
show examples
decide
Wrong verb form
deciding
show examples
 to commit suicide
while
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 they can not accept the result after taking
risk
Add an article
a risk
the risk
show examples
. To sum up, it seems that undertaking
risks
 in our life is unavoidable. It has both positive and negative impacts
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 everyone. The most significant is
people
 need to comprehend their ability and financial condition before they take
Add an article
the risk
a risk
show examples
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
.
Submitted by Veronicapz  on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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