Some people says that music is a good way of bringing people of different culturs and ages to gather. What to extend do you agree or disagree.

Music

Use synonyms

has been present since the beginning of

civilization

Change the spelling

civilisation

show examples

. Different styles of

music

Use synonyms

have been invented

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

this

Linking Words

means some like to listen to different

music

Use synonyms

. Some believe that

music

Use synonyms

helps

people

Use synonyms

to get together without

consideration of

Wrong verb form

considering

show examples

their differences. I believe

this

Linking Words

can be true to a certain extent

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

it could separate

people

Use synonyms

on specific occasions.

Firstly

Linking Words

, some events and concerts help to bring generations together and gather them in the same space. Sometimes, a cultural festival takes place, and with a wide selection of

music

Use synonyms

artists, families can go together and enjoy the moment.

For example

Linking Words

, Estereo Picnic is a festival in Colombia that presents

music

Use synonyms

like rock and pop, but it

brings

Correct word order

also brings

show examples

also

Linking Words

artists like Farruco, a reggaeton singer.

Therefore

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

could bring the community together.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, if the

music

Use synonyms

is very specific, it could even create separation

instead

Linking Words

of gathering

people

Use synonyms

together.

For instance

Linking Words

, if a heavy metal concert is taking place in the town centre, the majority of the

assistants

Check wording

audience

show examples

will be young

people

Use synonyms

. If an

elder

Replace the word

elderly

show examples

person is

leaving

Verb problem

living

show examples

near

this

Linking Words

zone, he will be uncomfortable and he might be upset about the event. In

this

Linking Words

case,

music

Use synonyms

could separate the generations

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

and create a gap between them. In conclusion,

music

Use synonyms

has the ability to connect populations of different ages and cultures. But there are very specific genres that could separate them. I think the essential thing

Change preposition

about

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue in order to unify

people

Use synonyms

with the

music

Use synonyms

is to select a wide variety of styles.

na.duque90

Jun 22, 2022

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task response

Be clearer at the start by stating your view in one line and keep it through the essay.

coherence

Make each paragraph have one main idea that links to your view.

coherence

Use more linking words to show how ideas connect.

coherence

Keep sentences short and avoid long, hard phrases.

grammar

Fix common errors in grammar and form (e.g., 'Some people say').

task response

Clear position on the topic.

content

Good use of examples to show your points.

structure

The essay follows a clear order with intro, body, and conclusion.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Some people says that music is a good way of bringing people of different culturs and ages to gather. What to extend do you agree or disagree.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others believe it does not help shoppers much. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?