You have recently applied for a course at a college and have been accepted. However, you cannot join the course due to some reasons. Write a letter to the principal of the college. In your letter: which course you have been applied for why you cannot join the course ask about the possibility of the course in the future Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

#course #college #possibility #future #addresses

Dear sir/madam,

First

all

Add a comma

,all

show examples

I am thanking you for accepting my application for joining the graduation course

Change preposition

show examples

your college, starting

Change preposition

apply

show examples

month. Unfortunately, I could not attend the class from

month, due to some personal problems. I have

keen

Add an article

a keen

show examples

interest in learning computer science

from

Change preposition

since

show examples

my childhood,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

forced me to apply to the best college in my state.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

your college provides

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

teaching faculty, the

fees

Change the noun form

fee

show examples

structure is

burden

Add an article

a burden

show examples

for a person like me who comes from the outskirts of the city.

Furthermore

, my enquire about the

scholorships

Correct your spelling

scholarships

for the applied course are currently not available for

this

academic

year

. According to these

reasons

Add a comma

,reasons

show examples

I cannot join the course

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

academic

year

However

, I would arrange the educational loan and it will be granted

Change preposition

to me

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

year

. So, If it is possible I am requesting you to consider my application

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

academic

year

. I will be

great

Add an article

a great

show examples

support for me to achieve my dream to become a graduate in computer science. I am waiting for your valuable reply. Yours sincerely, David John

Submitted by dilin1212 on Wed Jun 22 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

182 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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