You have recently applied for a course at a college and have been accepted. However, you cannot join the course due to some reasons. Write a letter to the principal of the college. In your letter: which course you have been applied for why you cannot join the course ask about the possibility of the course in the future Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Dear sir/madam,
First
of
all
Add a comma
,all

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase First of all. Consider adding a comma.

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I am thanking you for accepting my application for joining the graduation course
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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your college, starting
on
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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next
month. Unfortunately, I could not attend the class from
next
month, due to some personal problems. I have
keen
Add an article
a keen

The noun phrase keen interest seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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interest in learning computer science
from
Change preposition
since

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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my childhood,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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forced me to apply to the best college in my state.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction Although. Consider removing the comma.

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your college provides
best
Correct article usage
the best

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teaching faculty, the
fees
Change the noun form
fee

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of fees. Consider changing it to singular.

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structure is
burden
Add an article
a burden

The noun phrase burden seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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for a person like me who comes from the outskirts of the city.
Furthermore
, my enquire about the
scholorships
Correct your spelling
scholarships

If you don’t want scholorships to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for the applied course are currently not available for
this
academic
year
. According to these
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase According to these reasons. Consider adding a comma.

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I cannot join the course
on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
academic
year
.
However
, I would arrange the educational loan and it will be granted
me
Change preposition
to me

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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on
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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next
year
. So, If it is possible I am requesting you to consider my application
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
next
academic
year
. I will be
great
Add an article
a great

The noun phrase great support seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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support for me to achieve my dream to become a graduate in computer science. I am waiting for your valuable reply. Yours sincerely, David John
Submitted by dilin1212 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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