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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development
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Our
country
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's medical
care
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 system has advanced significantly in recent years, which has resulted in the extension of our
people
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's lives and an increase in
life
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 expectancy.In my experience, the benefits of
this
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 development outweigh the drawbacks.
First
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, my
country
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 is a developing
country
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 and we need a lot of productive resources, including
people
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 and equipment.
People
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 now are living longer, resulting in more workers, more doctors, and more teachers,
therefore
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, our
country
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 produces more goods.
For example
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, our
country
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's population was around 50
million
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, with 30
million
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people
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 of work age, and our total GDP was only 10 billion US dollars in 2000 ,while Our total GDP increased to $50 billion US dollars
last
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 year, as our population increased to 110
million
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 with 80
million
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 workers in
last
Linking Words
 year .
Then
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, I see many great
people
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 now living longer lives, and they are contributing every hour to improving our community. In the past, many great men died young because of undeveloped medical
care
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. Now, the development of medical
care
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 results in a higher chance for our leaders, our professors, or our CEO to live longer.
Last
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, it's our family
life
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. Parents, grandparents, our lovers, or our children are going to live longer with us. While
life
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 has you, you still have your big family beside you. While
life
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 rewards you, you have your family to share with you.
Life
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 is our gift, and our medical system protects our gift well. Inclusion I thank you for the development of medical
care
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, which resulted in not only the increase of our workers' resources, the lifetime of our presidents, professors, and CEOs but
also
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 the lifetime of my relatives and my friends.
Submitted by ntlanh92 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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