The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber-crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The advent of the
internet
has shown
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
propagation of online hijacking in recent times. The administrative authorities of a nation should reinforce stringent
internet
regulations in
order
to improve cybersecurity and diminish
internet
crimes.
This
discourse will expatiate credible points on why I strongly believe the
government
should impose control regulations to curb the effects of cyber insecurity. A primary reason why I believe the
government
should control
internet
usage is in
order
to mitigate the effect of online hacking.
In other words
, when people are connected to the
internet
, there are a plethora of fraudulent websites which demand
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
their personal credit card details.
Moreover
, these websites lure users to disclose sensitive information because of the promises of winning huge sums of money.
For instance
, a report published by the Cameroon
post
Capitalize word
Post
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newspaper depicts 85% of Cameroonians who were victims of
such
internet
scamming.
Therefore
, the
government
should to a greater extent implement measures that would override
such
fraudulent online activities.
Furthermore
, children are vulnerable to
violence
and pornography if the state does not control the contents which are made available to them. To elucidate
further
, some information portrayed online
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to be scrutinised in
order
to protect kids from accessing them. Some of these websites depict
violence
which has a detrimental impact on the development of children. A good illustration can be seen by the Canadian
government
that had to impose sanctions on a gaming website that showed games like "
the grand theft
Correct your spelling
The Grand Theft
show examples
" which derailed teenagers into becoming irresponsible citizens of the nation.
Hence
, implementing strict
internet
regulations goes a long way to curbing domestic
violence
which might become a threat to national security. In conclusion, I vehemently agree with the fact that
government
officials, should regulate
internet
usage in
order
to hinder online fraud and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
diminish the propagation of domestic
violence
.

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task response
Well done! The essay provides a clear response to the task prompt by presenting arguments for government control of the internet to reduce cyber-crime and protect users. Ensure to address each part of the task prompt in your introduction and conclusion for a stronger structure.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the essay smoothly.
supporting examples
Effective use of examples to support the main points.
structure
Clear and logical structure throughout the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventative measure
  • cybersecurity protocols
  • hacking
  • identity theft
  • online scams
  • sensitive information
  • critical infrastructure
  • privacy
  • freedom of expression
  • government overreach
  • censorship
  • international cooperation
  • jurisdiction
  • innovation
  • digital economy
  • public education campaigns
  • legislation
  • private tech companies
  • government surveillance
  • civil liberties
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