Some people think that parents have a powerful influence in children’s life, while the influence outside the home plays a bigger part of children’s development. What extent do you agree or disagree?

People
have different views about the effect on
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
life
from
parents
as
oppsed
Correct your spelling
opposed
to outside the
home
.While there are some influences outside the
home
, I believe that
parents
is usually contribute
Change the verb form
usually contribute
show examples
more
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
life
. The primary reason why
parents
play a central role is they are the
first
teacher of their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
, which means they are teaching their
children
everything from the
Correct your spelling
beginning
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
of their
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. In other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
,
parents
are not only the language
teachers
or maths
teachers
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
they are
also
the
life
teachers
of
children
.
Parents
who show
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good manner
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
daily
life
will make their
children
usually come out polite and grateful.
For example
, if a mother always
say
Change the verb form
says
show examples
thank you to other
people
when she receives something, her
child
must become a thankful person as well.
Furthermore
,since
children
watch their
parents
all the time when they were young, they imitate their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
and learn what their
parents
do. It is very common to see that the dad and the
son
Change the noun form
sons
show examples
are both doctors or
teachers
, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fully
embody
Correct subject-verb agreement
embodies
show examples
the
influence
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
parents
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
life
.
However
, the
influence
outside the
home
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
important to
children
's development. When
Add an article
the child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
went to school, most of their time would be spent on academic lessons, which would play a big part in their development. They will
also
learn how to work with other
people
,
for instance
, to write a group essay, they will learn how to deal with other
people
and finish a project as a team, which will lead them to the real world. In conclusion, I agree the
influence
outside the
home
exists, but the huge
influence
from
parents
centainly
Correct your spelling
certainly
plays a bigger part of
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
development.
Submitted by so163uh on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discipline
  • Emotional support
  • External influences
  • Peers
  • Media
  • Education
  • Technology
  • Social media
  • Role models
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Collaborative approach
  • Cultural differences
  • Fostering independence
  • Critical thinking
  • Upbringing
  • Values
  • Beliefs
  • Behaviors
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