Some people think that parents have a powerful influence in children’s life, while the influence outside the home plays a bigger part of children’s development. What extent do you agree or disagree?

People
have different views about the effect on
child's
Correct article usage
a child's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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life
from
parents
as
oppsed
Correct your spelling
opposed

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to outside the
home
.While there are some influences outside the
home
, I believe that
parents
is usually contribute
Change the verb form
usually contribute

It appears that the form of the verb contribute does not work with is in this sentence.

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more
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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child's
Correct article usage
a child's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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life
. The primary reason why
parents
play a central role is they are the
first
teacher of their
child
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children

It seems that child may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, which means they are teaching their
children
everything from the
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beginning

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beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning

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of their
Correct your spelling
lives
life

If you don’t want lifes to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

lifes
Correct your spelling
lives

It appears that the noun lifes is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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. In other
word
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words

It seems that word may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
parents
are not only the language
teachers
or maths
teachers
,
Add the word(s)
but,

The sentence is missing part of the not only ... but also construction. Consider adding the missing word(s).

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they are
also
the
life
teachers
of
children
.
Parents
who show
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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good manner
from
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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daily
life
will make their
children
usually come out polite and grateful.
For example
, if a mother always
say
Change the verb form
says

The plural verb say does not appear to agree with the singular subject a mother. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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thank you to other
people
when she receives something, her
child
must become a thankful person as well.
Furthermore
,since
children
watch their
parents
all the time when they were young, they imitate their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'

It appears that the word parents should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours

The spelling of behaviors is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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and learn what their
parents
do. It is very common to see that the dad and the
son
Change the noun form
sons

It appears that the subject and the predicate noun in this sentence do not agree in number. Consider making the noun son plural.

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are both doctors or
teachers
, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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fully
embody
Correct subject-verb agreement
embodies

It seems that the verb embody does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the
influence
from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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parents
to
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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child's
Correct article usage
a child's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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life
.
However
, the
influence
outside the
home
also
Add a missing verb
is also

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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important to
children
's development. When
Add an article
the child

The noun phrase child seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children

It seems that child may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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went to school, most of their time would be spent on academic lessons, which would play a big part in their development. They will
also
learn how to work with other
people
,
for instance
, to write a group essay, they will learn how to deal with other
people
and finish a project as a team, which will lead them to the real world. In conclusion, I agree the
influence
outside the
home
exists, but the huge
influence
from
parents
centainly
Correct your spelling
certainly

If you don’t want centainly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

plays a bigger part of
child's
Correct article usage
a child's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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development.
Submitted by so163uh on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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