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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violent influence on TV and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #level #influence #tv #cinema #films
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It is undeniable that
people
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 are affected by
television
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 and
media
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. Some
people
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 think that the
government
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 should control the
level
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 of
violent
Replace the word
violence
show examples
 impact on
television
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 and at the cinema, while others believe that violent
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
films
Use synonyms
 should not be regulated by the
government
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.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 following paragraphs will be discussed before the conclusion is reached. On the one hand , nowadays, many
children
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 are influenced by
television
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,
thus
Linking Words
 it is not surprising if some parents think that the
government
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 should manage the
level
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 of violence in
films
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 and
media
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in today's
television
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 and online
media
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 can easily interact with
children
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 and
people
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. The reason
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that some parents
Add a missing verb
are concern
show examples
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
 about their
children
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 will imitate violent
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
films
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 and
media
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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news on
television
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 about the boy
bulglaries
Correct your spelling
burglaries
people
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, and after he
arrested
Add a missing verb
was arrested
show examples
, police asked him why he did that he said he imitated
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a film that he was watching
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
television
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem, the
government
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 should
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a policy about the rate of
violent
Replace the word
violence
show examples
 in film.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television
Use synonyms
 and
media
Use synonyms
 show
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 viewed by a majority of kids but are not all aggressive in nature. there are many kids with a
Correct your spelling
positive
posivitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 attitude, they understand the impact of content, and they can think that should not imitate
that behaviors
Change the determiner
that behavior
those behaviors
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, some
people
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 think that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not important to control content in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
films
Use synonyms
 and
media
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. To conclude, in my opinion, the
government
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 should not regulate the
level
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 of violent influence, for
people
Use synonyms
 can decide to watch whatever they want.
However
Linking Words
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 should not regulate the
level
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 of violence, but the
government
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 should
also
Linking Words
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a limit age policy for
children
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. these two opinions on
government
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 regulate the
level
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 of
violent
Replace the word
violence
show examples
. it is still
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 personal question for
people
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. Both of these have benefits and drawbacks that have to
considered
Add a missing verb
be considered
show examples
 by
people
Use synonyms
Submitted by napoldej.p on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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