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Band 4

Some people believe that it is the government's responsibility to provide care and financial to support people after they retire. Others, however, think that individuals themselves saving money in their own care when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #responsibility #care #support #individuals #money
fossil
fuels
such
 as coal fuel and natural gas are used in several
countries
 but in some
countries
 the use of alternating
sources
 of
energy
involve
Wrong verb form
involving
show examples
 wind and solar
Correct your spelling
power
pover
Correct your spelling
power
 has been stimulate in my
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 a positive development for every country should use renewable
energy
soruces
Correct your spelling
sources
 . because widely known all of
fossil
Add an article
the fossil
show examples
fuels
 have been running out so people had better discover a new source and use it the biggest positive development is switch to renewable
sources
such
 as
wind solar
Add a hyphen
wind-solar
show examples
 power, and water
Furthermore
, there are lots of positive feedback
such
 as preserving climate change and
energy
 crisis. people have been adopting
moderna
Correct your spelling
modern
 age and reach economic
sucesss
Correct your spelling
success
 ı
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 see any negative effect
perhabs
Correct your spelling
perhaps
 it would be hard to switch
energy
 source at
first
 the best ability is
generate
Fix the infinitive
to generate
show examples
 your own
energy
 without using fossil
fuels
. Currently, certain
countries
 have been conducting their own
energy
. we have to create our own
clear
Correct your spelling
clean
show examples
energy
 admittedly
Correct your spelling
there
they
ther
Correct your spelling
there
 are
Correct your spelling
excellent
excelelnt
Correct your spelling
excellent
 alternatives
for instance
 wind biomass hydropower solar
energy
 People create their own facilities for collecting alternative
energy
sources
 indiscriminately. we have to avoid using all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fossil
fuels
. we generate clean
energy
 and
countries
 take advantage of collecting renewable
energy
.
As a result
, there are several positive effects of switching
energy
sources
 and
switch
Wrong verb form
switching
show examples
 to renewable
energy
sources
.
Countries
 conserve
energy
 and animals
wouldnt
Correct your spelling
wouldn't
 be affected badly because renewable
energy
sources
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 cause air pollution or climate change That would be an enormous improvement for all
countries
.
Submitted by brsson06 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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