Which of the following activities do you think will be the most beneficial to the environment? (1) Commute by biking or walking (2) Recycling (3) Eating a vegan diet

There are various human activities that have

a beneficial effects

Correct the article-noun agreement

a beneficial effect

beneficial effects

show examples

on the environment. Biking or walking, recycling and eating a vegan diet are few but they have their own significance in nature. As far as I am concerned, I would prefer to commute by walking or biking for having less

pollution

and for better health. I think

this

way for two reasons, which I will explore in

this

essay. As an initial point, I would like to say that nowadays

pollution

is the most concerning thing, which is increasing day by day with the use of vehicles in daily life, becoming a major cause of

pollution

. choosing to commute by walking will definitely create less

pollution

and if it is done by

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

of people

then

it will have a tremendous effect on the environment.

Moreover

pollution

also

Correct your spelling

affecting

show examples

effecting

Correct your spelling

affecting

show examples

the climate and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature. So,

use

Correct article usage

the use

show examples

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

vehicles, will not only create less

pollution

but will

also

help in making nature more clean and fresh.

Secondly

, if we daily do cycling or

walking

Wrong verb form

walk

show examples

at least for one hour,

then

it will maintain our health

also

. Nowadays, many health issues are very common,

such

as obesity, high blood sugar, hypertension, high cholesterol and many more. Doctors

also

suggest to their patients

a regular walks

Correct the article-noun agreement

regular walks

a regular walk

show examples

daily to manage the concerning issue.

For example

, one of my

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

last

year diagnosed with high blood sugar, both for fasting and after meals. Along with medicines, the doctor advised him to walk or to do cycling

Change preposition

for at

show examples

least one hour daily. Within six months his blood sugar comes to normal and he is still following the same routine. In conclusion, I believe that using a cycle as a means of transport or by walking, will be advantageous to the environment,

further

this

will

also

keep us fit and healthy.

Submitted by SV on Fri Jun 24 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some say that the best way to improve public health is by Increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this will have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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