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Band 4.5

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do agree or disagree?

#meat #diet
Vegetarian is the people who choose to eat only vegetables or vegetarian diets. Some people want to be vegetarian because they think that it is healthier than
non vegetarian
Add a hyphen
non-vegetarian
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 I disagree that
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
 needs to be vegetarian. I will support my opinion with my argument.
Firstly
, eating vegetarian
diets
Fix the agreement mistake
diet
show examples
 can not give enough
energy
 or
protein
 to
some body
Correct your spelling
somebody
show examples
for example
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
show examples
 and
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
.
Athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
Athletes
show examples
 and
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 have to use high
energy
 and
protein
 to do their daily routine or to recover the tissues that
damaged
Add a missing verb
are damaged
show examples
 from playing sports, but
Add a hyphen
plant-based
show examples
plant based
Add a hyphen
plant-based
show examples
 diets can not give that much
energy
 and
protein
 for them.
This
 amount of
energy
 and
protein
 can only get from
meat based
Add a hyphen
meat-based
show examples
 diet.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 3 pieces of chicken drumstick equal 4
scoop
Change to a plural noun
scoops
show examples
 of rice.
Secondly
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some
vitamin
Fix the agreement mistake
vitamins
show examples
 which you can not find
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in vegetarian food.
For example
Vitamin
 B12
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps you grow and promote red blood cells which you can find in fish, eggs, milk and liver. Omega 3 which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to lower blood pressure, reduce triglyceride, slow the development of plaque in the arteries and many more, it can be found in Salmon, Tuna and catfish.
Vitamin
 D
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps your body absorb calcium and maintain strong bones all your life which are in Salmon, Tuna, eggs and some milk. These
vitamin
Change the determiner
vitamins
show examples
 are important to our body and you can not find them in
Add a hyphen
plant-based
show examples
plant based
Add a hyphen
plant-based
show examples
 food. If you
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 vegetarian you will need to find
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 alternative source to solve
this
 problem. In conclusion, being vegetarian has several disadvantages
about
Change preposition
regarding
show examples
 nutrients, It is not suggested to be vegetarian if you need to use high nutrients or you are growing.
Submitted by drkanogon on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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