IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many manufactory food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, Which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some
people
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 claim that many manufactory food and drink
products
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 that are rich in
sugar
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 lead to
health
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 problems.
Moreover
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, they should be more expensive in order to encourage
people
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 not to consume so much
sugar
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. As far as I am concerned, sugary
products
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 play a highly important role in our alimentation. That's because they are a source of
energy
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.
However
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, when we consume a great amount of
sugar
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 for a very long time, we are highly likely to develop
health
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 issues.
This
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 essay will discuss the essential role that
sugar
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 has in nutrition and how to avoid
health
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 problems caused by sugary
products
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.
To begin
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 with, small quantities of
sugar
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 are vital for a balanced diet.
Besides
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, studies show that we should eat daily a small amount of sweets so our body can function properly.
In addition
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, sugary
products
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 are a rich source of
energy
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. In fact, the moment you feel you lack
energy
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 and eat a square of chocolate, your body feels recharged.
For instance
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, a school in France brought in a system that involves giving children a sweet product before having their physical education classes.
Subsequently
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, it was
showed
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shown
show examples
 that children's level of
energy
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 significantly improved.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 should be aware of the consequences that manufactory
products
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, which contain high levels of
sugar
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 have. In order to maintain a healthy lifestyle, they should purchase
fruitty
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fruity
fruit
products
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 that are rich in vitamins and contain a moderate level of
sugar
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.
However
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, it does not mean that sugary
products
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 should become more expensive to encourage
people
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 to consume less
sugar
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. Still, they should document themselves regarding the unhealthy ingredients a product contains before actually buying it in order to prevent the development of many
health
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 issues.
For instance
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, a campaign was conducted in the UK regarding the nocive effects of some overused ingredients that can be found in a diversity of manufactory
products
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.
As a result
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,
people
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 had no idea about the damage they produce in our bodies in the long run. In summary, I strongly consider that
people
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 should be aware of the level of
sugar
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 a product has before buying it.
Additionally
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, the price of sugary
products
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 should not change, because sweets are essential for our alimentation, even though, in big quantities, food rich in
sugar
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 is nocive.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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