IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. what could be the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#fathers #home #care #children #mothers #work #reason #development
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Nowadays it is so difficult to take care of a child. Mother and father both have the same responsibility for their children today's parents are capable of doing outside jobs but it depends on them who is better at doing work.I think it’s made a positive impact. The reason will be given in the next paragraphs. First of all, If I talk about fathers, they have more of a burden on their families. He earns money for them and fulfils their dreams and it is so difficult to do because nowadays in my country there is a large population so it is so hard to get a good income source.
In addition
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, they do not have proper knowledge about how to care for children so men believe that it’s better to do so for women.
For example
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, fathers have eight hours of work and when they come home they are tired.
However
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, mothers have a lot of housework like cleaning and cooking. In
this
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 modern ,era they are compact for men in all fields.
Also
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, They are fully secure in society so they can go out for earnings. If women have great opportunities, it is the right thing to do.
For instance
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, she has more degrees and positions in ratan tata like more.
To sum up
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, it is positive
to
Change preposition
that
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father
Correct article usage
the father
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gat
Correct your spelling
get
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 knowledge about how to manage work in
house
Correct article usage
the house
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 and
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
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get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
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 experience
for
Change preposition
of
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 earning money is so hard so they can understand and create an amazing bond between their parents and understand all sechuacation and both try to supervise
of
Change preposition
apply
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there
Replace the word
their
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kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
.

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task response
Develop a clearer thesis statement and make sure to address all parts of the prompt. Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Improve logical structure and coherence to make the essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transition words and phrases to improve the overall coherence of the essay. Organize the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences and supporting details. Maintain a consistent focus on the main topic throughout the essay.
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