IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many famous sports players advertise sports products. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#sports #players #products #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Since the development of the television program, it has been mainstream that
sports
Use synonyms
 brands marketed their products through
sports
Use synonyms
 players’ endorsements. While it seems to be a great chance for athletes to have more income, I assume that the drawbacks are far more than the advantages. On the one hand, it is indisputable that collaborating with sportsmen is beneficial for the
sports
Use synonyms
 industry which can increase greatly public awareness of those
sports
Use synonyms
 brands and
sports
Use synonyms
 stars.
In other words
Linking Words
, there are increasing chances for people to acquire any information about
sports
Use synonyms
 and
therefore
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 would increase the income of either
sports
Use synonyms
 people or
companies
Use synonyms
, especially in some countries where the society does not value
such
Linking Words
 a business. The government in Taiwan,
for example
Linking Words
, does not put a lot of effort into training athletes who always do not get good pay and benefits.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 it brings about positive developments for some people, it results in many problems for the society. From the public’s perspective, since too many
companies
Use synonyms
 use the same way to advertise their products, it is too rampant that individuals will get tired of them and find them unattractive anymore. From
companies
Use synonyms
' perspective, it is less effective and efficient that they spend plenty of money on
sports
Use synonyms
 celebrity endorsements and other
companies
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 use the same strategy and even use the same celebrity. In the beginning, it seems to be a great idea to have famous
sports
Use synonyms
 players advertise products.
However
Linking Words
, when there are too many businesses using the same method, it would cause numerous negative impacts on the industry.
Submitted by peggyw108dm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: