IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher. What might be the man-made causes of temperatures rising? How should we deal with this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Industrialisation and technological advancement are man-made activities that have significantly contributed to
climate
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change
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 globally. The human factors responsible for
this
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 as well as the likely solutions will be discussed in
this
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 essay .
To begin
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 with, industrialisation and technological advancement are the key factors influencing
temperature
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 rise globally. The advancing use of technological devices in industries to make work easier for labourers as well as to reduce the manpower needed to perform activities are the reason behind the
climate
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change
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 witnessed globally in recent years. These technical devices make use of fossil fuels which are released as
waste
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 products into the air in form of smoke . The
waste
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 , majorly contain carbon monoxide which alters the climatic condition resulting in a rise in
temperature
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.
For example
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 , in the steel manufacturing industries in Nigeria, the machine used to melt metals uses diesel and it releases thick flames into the sky , it was reported that the cities where the industry is located record high temperatures compared to other cities.
Next
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, the solution to the
climate
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change
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 challenge can be either to manufacture machinery which uses electricity rather than fossil fuels or to utilize alternative
waste
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 disposal methods. Electric types of machinery will not release chemical by-product that alters
climate
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 conditions making them effective in achieving the goal of making work easier for labourers while preventing
temperature
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 rise. Alternative disposal of
waste
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 products into underground channels or conversion into less harmful products can
also
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 contribute positively to solving the
climate
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change
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 challenge seen worldwide. In conclusion, industrialisation and technological advancement are man-made activities that have led to an increase in
temperature
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 in most burgeoning cities while the likely solutions include changing the source of power to electricity or using alternative methods of
disposing
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ofdisposing
show examples
 the
waste
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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