Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

It has been observed that there is fixed
retirement
age
. Many argue that a few industries should allow their employees to retire prior to the set
age
and benefit from the pension facility too. From my viewpoint,
this
argument stands true and I will shed some light in the upcoming paragraphs.
Additionally
,
this
essay will highlight a group of workers who should be entitled to
this
privilege. From my perspective, some organisations require the young generation over the older generation.
In other words
, sports companies scout young talent and train them to play.
Moreover
, considering the physical fitness a player could perform well till the
age
of thirty-five.
Thus
, it is vital for them to retire around that
age
to bolster their own health. Some well-known players get a chance to coach the
next
batch,
,,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
not everyone gets
this
job.
Hence
, early life monetary support with
retirement
will help them to support their family.
Furthermore
, there are many sets of workers who should be allowed to leave the company early and receive the pension amount.
Firstly
, crew members from the aviation industry. They are on their toes and cater for the customers. They may not be agile later in their life to continue doing
this
work.
Secondly
, army employees should be eligible as they are under constant pressure. They could serve the country and
then
willingly retire.
Lastly
, drivers who are attached to behemoth companies like Ola or Uber should reduce their
retirement
age
because some drivers could later have poor eyesight leading to accidents. To summarise, many organisations demand workers with fitness and their ability to work may reduce with their
age
. It's cardinal to support
such
employees by honouring them with an early
retirement
plan and a monthly sum of money.
Likewise
, individuals from the aviation industry, army and drivers should avail
this
facility.
Submitted by vaidyadevika1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: