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Band 6.5

With the increasing demand for energy such as oil and gas, people start to look for their sources in remote and untouched places. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#demand #energy #oil #gas #people #sources #places
Due to the increasing numbers of
energy
 demand, some people advocate excavating the alternative energies in the barren
area
.
This
 essay will discuss both sides and provide compelling reasons to sustain my belief. Undoubtedly, the
energy
 resources are limited and have some problems in the cities.
Therefore
, people had dug up and consumed the energies that locate in the urban
area
. After industrialization and urbanization, there are decreasing storage of fossil fuel and natural gas plants in the urban
area
.
Thus
, we should make an attempt to find sustainable
energy
 resources in the suburbs.
Although
 it is difficult to transfer the
energy
 into users’ locations and pays for surplus costs in transportation, we can use the advanced and renewal means to overcome it through underground circulation. Turning to the merits, it is no doubt that the majority of
energy
 sources come from the countryside. It is because that renewable
energy
 is used to be abundantly produced by their natural characteristics in the remote
area
,
such
 as the tide power and the wind power at the coastline.
Thus
, we should look for them in untouched places.
Although
 the
energy
 conveying can be expensive and has a risk of leakage. With the well-established equipment and procedure, the transferring duct cannot be an issue from the far
area
 into the urban zone.
Also
, development of the alternative energies in the far
area
 can keep human life quality away from pollution and damage. In conclusion, even
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
building up the
energy
 power in the remote
area
 has several disadvantages. I believe that revealing the new
energy
 resources in the wildlife can offer more merits than drawbacks with well-implemented equipment and improvement.
Submitted by Vic. on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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