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Band 4.5

Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted to do. To what extent do you agree or not?

#society #rules #laws #function #individuals
There is a tremendously controversial perspective heating up a debate
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
people
’s action in the community is based on legal guidelines. While
this
 statement is valid to some extent, I would contend that it may do more good than harm. Without a shadow of a doubt, a
society
 without regulations runs various risks, including a higher rate of crime.
People
 are free to do anything the
law
 permits, but when there is no
law
, they are especially free to commit crimes. On account of the demand for wealth
increases
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 as life develops and the vast disparity between the rich and the poor,
people
 will be more likely to steal in order to supplement their income.
As a result
, there will be several risks to
people
 in a
society
 without
law
. The absence of the
law
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 makes it more essential to have a legislative act, which has numerous merits to
people
’s lives and
also
 lowers
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 rate.
People
 are less likely to conduct crimes when there are restrictions that are enforced.
For instance
, the Vietnamese government enacted the
murdered
Replace the word
murder
show examples
 penalty in article 123 as follows: if a person
kill
Correct subject-verb agreement
kills
show examples
 two or more persons might result in a life sentence and that lessens
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 perception of criminal
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Therefore
, the legal guidelines are of importance to the community. In conclusion, rules and procedures are the foundation of
society
,
thus
, for
society
advance
Fix the infinitive
to advance
show examples
 more
favorably
Change the spelling
favourably
show examples
,
people
 must abide by the
law
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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