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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted to do. To what extent do you agree or not?

#society #rules #laws #function #individuals
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There is a tremendously controversial perspective heating up a debate
whether
Change preposition
about whether
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people
Use synonyms
’s action in the community is based on legal guidelines. While
this
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 statement is valid to some extent, I would contend that it may do more good than harm. Without a shadow of a doubt, a
society
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 without regulations runs various risks, including a higher rate of crime.
People
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 are free to do anything the
law
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 permits, but when there is no
law
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, they are especially free to commit crimes. On account of the demand for wealth
increases
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 as life develops and the vast disparity between the rich and the poor,
people
Use synonyms
 will be more likely to steal in order to supplement their income.
As a result
Linking Words
, there will be several risks to
people
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 in a
society
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 without
law
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. The absence of the
law
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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 makes it more essential to have a legislative act, which has numerous merits to
people
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’s lives and
also
Linking Words
 lowers
crime
Add an article
the crime
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 rate.
People
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 are less likely to conduct crimes when there are restrictions that are enforced.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Vietnamese government enacted the
murdered
Replace the word
murder
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 penalty in article 123 as follows: if a person
kill
Correct subject-verb agreement
kills
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 two or more persons might result in a life sentence and that lessens
public
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the public
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 perception of criminal
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the legal guidelines are of importance to the community. In conclusion, rules and procedures are the foundation of
society
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,
thus
Linking Words
, for
society
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advance
Fix the infinitive
to advance
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 more
favorably
Change the spelling
favourably
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,
people
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 must abide by the
law
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.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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