Nowadays more and more young people hold the important positions in the government. Some people think that is a good thing while others argue that it is not suitable. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is true that the number of young
people
who hold vital posts in the government is increasing.
While
some
people
are opposed to
this
idea, I support the view that
this
trend is beneficial at present. In
this
essay, I will delve deep into both sides of the argument and give out my logical conclusion. On the one hand, there is a school of thought which objects to
this
idea because youngsters are thought to be lacking in real experience. In reality, governors of age are often wiser and they have had more years working and more opportunities to study life, unlike their junior counterparts.
Consequently
, they would be more decisive in their decision-making and their choices would have fewer risks
as well as
more efficient outcomes. Despite
this
, old
people
may become too set in their ways and hesitate to implement up-to-date and novel changes into the current system.
On the other hand
, young governors are believed to be advantageous since they are often more open-minded and willing to consider innovative alterations in their governance. To elucidate, younger
people
nowadays are exposed to many state-of-the-art ideas and novel changes from a very early age
due to
globalization and the internet.
Therefore
, they are more likely to understand the fact that there is no single right way or perspective to anything and more likely to accept ideas and changes that are new and experimental, potentially improving society. In conclusion,
although
old governors could be beneficial to some extent, it seems to me on the whole that more young
people
being selected to play critical roles in the government is more advantageous
for
Change preposition
because of
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their open
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
and up-to-date
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of view.
Submitted by hoanggiabaobg100 on

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task response
Ensure that your argument is fully developed and all relevant points are addressed.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain the logical structure of your ideas throughout the essay, with clear introductions and conclusions.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and aim for more precise and varied word choices.
grammatical range
Utilize a wider variety of complex grammatical structures to enhance your writing.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovative solutions
  • Modern policies
  • Adequately represented
  • Viewpoints and issues
  • High energy levels
  • Adaptability
  • Complex political landscape
  • Impulsive decisions
  • Undue influence
  • Susceptible to pressure
  • Seasoned colleagues
  • Lobbyists
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