Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a women's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. What opinion do you agree and why?

#people #women #chances #work #careers #role #care #house #children

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People in the world today believe that

mothers

Use synonyms

have to stay at home, and I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will provide reasons to justify my argument.

To begin

Linking Words

with, gender equity is a major point why

mothers

Use synonyms

should not always stay at home. Nowadays, more and more people have understood that both genders have the same rights,

in addition

Linking Words

, no one can stand on the sidelines because they have to take responsibility for their family. In fact, except

pregnancy

Change preposition

for pregnancy

show examples

, men can carry on housework and look after

family

Add an article

the family

show examples

as well.

Therefore

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

are able to go outside and create their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

if they would like to do

Rephrase

so.

show examples

In Taiwan,

for example

Linking Words

, after confinement,

women

Use synonyms

are encouraged to go back to the workplace, and their husbands alternatively have a year of parental leave. Another reason

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

that most countries have complete welfare, is that

mothers

Use synonyms

have a firm backing when they work. Governments have found that

women

Use synonyms

ought to have equal opportunity to develop their careers or experience leisure time,

thus

Linking Words

, they have provided excellent subsidies. After obtaining

this

Linking Words

pay, stay-at-home

mothers

Use synonyms

may have an adequate budget to accomplish

vocation

Correct pronoun usage

their vocation

show examples

, meanwhile, they can let their family gain proper care during their work,

such

Linking Words

as hiring a babysitter or caretaker.

Correct article usage

The

show examples

rate of

two-paycheck

Add an article

the two-paycheck

show examples

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

has had a remarkable rise in Taiwan

around

Change preposition

show examples

recent years because of fruitful welfare,

women

Use synonyms

are not necessarily be

Change the verb form

are not necessarily

show examples

homemakers

as a result

Linking Words

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

people deem a mother’s place as at home rather than at work, I do not agree with

this

Linking Words

view.

Due to

Linking Words

the fact that fair opportunity in gender

Add the comma(s)

, as well as welfare,

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

welfare provide more possibilities for

women

Use synonyms

in modern society.

Submitted by tripwithyour on Tue Jun 28 2022

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task response

Ensure that you fully address the prompt and provide a clear stance on the given topic.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the organization of ideas to ensure a smooth flow of information and clear connection between sentences and paragraphs.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a women's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. What opinion do you agree and why?

Directors and managers of organization are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?