Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a women's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. What opinion do you agree and why?

People in the world today believe that
mothers
have to stay at home, and I completely disagree with
this
. In
this
essay, I will provide reasons to justify my argument.
To begin
with, gender equity is a major point why
mothers
should not always stay at home. Nowadays, more and more people have understood that both genders have the same rights,
in addition
, no one can stand on the sidelines because they have to take responsibility for their family. In fact, except
pregnancy
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for pregnancy
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, men can carry on housework and look after
family
Add an article
the family
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as well.
Therefore
,
women
are able to go outside and create their
career
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careers
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if they would like to do
.
Rephrase
so.
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In Taiwan,
for example
, after confinement,
women
are encouraged to go back to the workplace, and their husbands alternatively have a year of parental leave. Another reason
is
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apply
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that most countries have complete welfare, is that
mothers
have a firm backing when they work. Governments have found that
women
ought to have equal opportunity to develop their careers or experience leisure time,
thus
, they have provided excellent subsidies. After obtaining
this
pay, stay-at-home
mothers
may have an adequate budget to accomplish
vocation
Correct pronoun usage
their vocation
show examples
, meanwhile, they can let their family gain proper care during their work,
such
as hiring a babysitter or caretaker.
A
Correct article usage
The
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rate of
two-paycheck
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the two-paycheck
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family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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has had a remarkable rise in Taiwan
around
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in
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recent years because of fruitful welfare,
women
are not necessarily be
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are not necessarily
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homemakers
as a result
. In conclusion,
although
people deem a mother’s place as at home rather than at work, I do not agree with
this
view.
Due to
the fact that fair opportunity in gender
Add the comma(s)
, as well as welfare,
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as well as
welfare provide more possibilities for
women
in modern society.
Submitted by tripwithyour on

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to ensure a smooth flow of information and clear connection between sentences and paragraphs.

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