Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary product should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that instant foods and artificially
flavored
Change the spelling
flavoured
show examples
beverages could contain
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
volume of sugariness,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which could be a root cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
many illnesses including diabetes, heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
and obesity. Apparently, as a remedy to the high
sugar
intake, some believe government should increase the prices of
sweets containing
Add a hyphen
sweets-containing
show examples
products
.
However
, others believe
state
Add an article
the state
show examples
should adopt alternative strategies to reduce
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
of
Add a hyphen
sugar-containing
show examples
sugar containing
Add a hyphen
sugar-containing
show examples
goods rather than increase
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
of sugary
products
. I disagree with the given statement because
mere
Add an article
the mere
a mere
show examples
increase in the price of
sweet containing
Add a hyphen
sweet-containing
show examples
products
will not necessarily reduce the
sugar
consumption
of all communities of the country. In fact, it will rather reduce lower and lower
middle income
Add a hyphen
middle-income
show examples
earners’
consumption
while it will not significantly reduce the high-income earners’
consumption
.
Furthermore
,
this
might even lead to a
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
in the inflation level as well due to the high cost of the goods.
Hence
this
will not be a sustainable solution to the discussed matter.
Subsequently
,
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
of many effective alternatives
such
as
sugar
Correct article usage
the sugar
show examples
colour coding system could be mentioned as another reason for the disagreement
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the given statement.
Sugar
Correct article usage
A sugar
show examples
colour code system, which is frequently known as
sugar
Correct article usage
the sugar
show examples
traffic light system, could be introduced to manufacturers
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
enhance
Change the verb form
enhancing
show examples
the awareness of the sugary content of the foods and beverages.
Accordingly
, producers should label their
products
based on the contents of the
sugar
level. Red, green, and yellow colours could be used to indicate high, medium, and low contents respectively.
Consequently
,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
will
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
regarding
Change preposition
of
show examples
the levels of sweetness and they can act
accordingly
to limit their daily sweets intake. In a nutshell, it is wiser to enhance the awareness and educate the public regarding the consequences of excessive
sugar
intake rather than limit consumers’ purchasing power to buy
products
.
Submitted by heshru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: