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Band 5.5

In marriages today, some argue that it is the responsibility of both spouses to earn a living for the family. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#marriages #argue #responsibility #spouses
An immensely controversial phenomenon in the contemporary epoch relating to the matter of union because many folks lock horns that it is the accountability of
both
 couples to have resources for the family.I firmly coincide
and
Change preposition
with and
show examples
 withstand the stated notion.
This
 discourse will
further
 elucidate my assertion in the forthcoming paragraph.
Firstly
,traditionally,
women
 stayed at home to do house chores but nowadays
both
 parents work
full
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fully
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 because
of
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apply
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the trending economy is vastly demanding
such
 that there is zero to save for future utilization.
Correct your spelling
In addition
Inaddittion
Correct your spelling
Addition
,many
family
Change to a plural noun
families
show examples
 are limiting the number of youngsters they get so that they can be able to support them fully without so
much
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many
show examples
 challenges,
For example
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 research done by the University of Nairobi depicts that 80% of men prefer
a career
Correct the article-noun agreement
career women
a career woman
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women
.There is a turn of
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
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 unlike in the past
where
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when
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women
 were
housewifes
Correct your spelling
housewives
.
Therefore
,
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 trend of
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 is
divastating
Correct your spelling
devastating
such
 that a slight disruption of resources causes havoc in the parentage.
Secondly
,
parent
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parents
show examples
 spent less time with the kids which makes them have less contact.
Moreover
,they have no idea how adolescent
utilize
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utilizes
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 time and their
behavior
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behaviour
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 are influenced by television,friends and technology.
However
, due to the challenges of the economy,
children
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children's
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 upbringing is
also
 affected.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research show that
Correct your spelling
juvenile
juvinile
Correct your spelling
juvenile
 delinquency is on the increase.
Therefore
,
commitment
Add an article
the commitment
a commitment
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 of
both
partner
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partners
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 to employment can bring negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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to
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on
show examples
 children if time is not created for them. To sum up,the composition,
i
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I
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 would like to restate my
pespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
 that economic challenges
has
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have
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 facilitated
both
mate
Change to a plural noun
mates
show examples
 to have a source of income unlike in the past where
women
 were
Correct your spelling
meant
ment
Correct your spelling
meant
 to be a
housewifes
Correct your spelling
housewife
housewives
 which has led to less contact with little one.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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