IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The increasing of private car lead to high level of pollution. Do you agree with this statement and what can be done to solve this problem?

#car #level #pollution
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In
this
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 era, new modules of
cars
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 come out every year. As it turns out,
people
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 are buying more
cars
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.
Although
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this
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 could help the economy,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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it affects greatly in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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. More
cars
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 mean more
pollution
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 emitted
in
Change preposition
into
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 the air. In my opinion, I do believe the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
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 in private care do lead to
high
Add an article
a high
the high
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 level of
pollution
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 and
fortunately
Add a comma
,fortunately
show examples
 there are
Correct your spelling
several
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severals
Correct your spelling
several
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 way to solve
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, to tackle the problem, public transportation should be improved
regarding
Change preposition
in
show examples
 its quality and pricing. In many developed countries, I can see that the system of public transportation reduced the use of
private
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the private
a private
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Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
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, what can be done is to establish terms and conditions
in
Change preposition
for
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 using public vehicles
such
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 as purchasing one ticket, a person is allowed to use any trains and buses for an hour without having to pay extra fees. In
this
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 way,
people
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 would see that public transportation is more cost-efficient and at the same time
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 reduce
pollution
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.
Secondly
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, purchasing a
car
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 should be made harder. By suggesting
this
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, it means that if a person already has a
car
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, there is no need to buy a new one.
Car
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company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 and the government should keep track of who or which family already has a
car
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 and set a limit on how many
cars
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 can be owned per family.
This
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 would make
people
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 think harder about the choices they need to make when purchasing a
car
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.
Last
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 but not least, to get rid of
private
Add an article
a private
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 that
use
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uses
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 fuels and
replace
Change the verb form
replaces
show examples
 them with
electric
Add an article
an electric
the electric
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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.
Electric
Add an article
An electric
The electric
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car
Use synonyms
 has become more appealing to many drivers and is more
environmental
Change the adjective
environmentally
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 friendly. If
electric
Add an article
an electric
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car
Use synonyms
 is sold cheaper,
this
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 could
also
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 reduce the carbon emission in the air and
pollution
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 as
people
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 switch to these
cars
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instead
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. In conclusion, I think the increase in
private
Add an article
the private
a private
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car
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do
Change the verb form
does
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 lead to high
pollution
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 and contribute to global warming.
However
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, if some regulations can be implemented, it could solve
this
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 problem.
Submitted by nuthchada on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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