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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Wealth does not necessarily guarantee happiness To what extent do you agree with the statement? provide reasons for your answer. include relevant examples from own knowledge or experience

#wealth #guarantee #happiness
In the prevailing era,
people
 are having possession
on
Change preposition
of
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 an immense amount of money, despite the fact,
individuals
Correct word choice
that individuals
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 are not happy in their life. I partially agree with the statement because happiness not only relies on the occupancy of wealth, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
 includes several other factors to live a cheerful and joyous life.
To begin
 with, by the emerging development all around the world. The individuals are working day and night as well
as
Add the preposition
foras
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 opting for several ways to get money, in order to earn a better luxurious life.
Moreover
,
people
 with a higher amount of wealth has more material possession,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 contributes
for
Change preposition
to
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 lifetime security and evidently gives peace of mind to themselves and their upcoming generations. To elucidate with an example, the poverty rate in America is incredibly low,
this
 is the reason
people
 found there are mostly contented.
On the other hand
, richer folks usually possess the stuff in abundance.
Consequently
, it acquires more time and vigilance of the individual . Which ultimately causes deterioration of mental and physical health
For instance
, in the United States of America, due to severe negligence towards health,
people
 are
mostly
Replace the word
most
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 prone to bodily and psychological illness. In a
nut shell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
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, healthier
people
a
Correct article usage
apply
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are found happier, but at the same time wealth is
also
 required in order to have ameliorated lifestyle.
Therefore
, to sustain better living an equilibrium between earning money and physical well being are considered necessary.
Submitted by Alvina Muqeet on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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