Some people think that schools should concentrate on academic courses which are useful to the career of students; courses like music and sports are not useful and therefore should not be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued by some
people
that academic
subjects
should be focused on school, and they think that extracurricular classes are not vital. I totally disagree with the statement because sports and music help in the development of various
skills
that are essential for
children
and it
also
helps to make their career. Non-academic
subjects
such
as music and physical activities inculcate ample
skills
in
children
such
as physical
skills
, creative
skills
and social
skills
that are essential for the overall development of the
children
. If
children
only focus on their academic
subjects
such
as math, and science, it will give rise to a sedentary lifestyle so as result physical
skills
will not be developed.
Moreover
, recreational activities make
children
more creative and can more socialize with
people
.
For instance
, it has been found that sports
people
and artists are more creative, healthy and have more confidence in face-to-face conversation as compared to those who just concentrate on their studies. Another reason is that sports and music are equally important as academic
subjects
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
because many
people
make their careers as artists and sportsmen and earn abundant amounts of money. Some
children
only want to become singers, dancers or players and do not want to become scientists, doctors or engineers so if schools
also
give importance to non-academic
subjects
,
children
will have more career opportunities.
For example
, in an interview with times India, Harbhajan Singh, who is a famous Indian cricketer, told that he got many good opportunities to become a cricketer in school so now he is a millionaire. In conclusion, I disagree entirely that singing, dancing and playing physical games should be equally important as academic
subjects
because artistic and physical education encourage their overall development and it
also
helps to build their career.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • holistic development
  • traditional academic courses
  • multiple intelligences
  • personal growth
  • professional athlete
  • music therapist
  • soft skills
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • leadership
  • stress relief
  • mental health
  • cultural enrichment
  • global career
  • cognitive abilities
  • concentration
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