Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjets that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #schools #students #subjets #future #careers #subjects #music #sports

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In many regions in the world, some people believe

this

Linking Words

is undoubtedly an advantage for academic

subjects

Use synonyms

are necessary for people in their future careers. While others concur that some

subjects

Use synonyms

like music and sports are

also

Linking Words

possible.

This

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essay will elaborate on both sides and state the reason why I hold that the demerits are more significant. There is a persuasive argument that non-academic activities are not only helpful for physical health but

also

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for mental health.

For example

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, after a day of studying many academic

subjects

Use synonyms

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

students will be stressed. It is better for them to do some outdoor or art activities

such

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as playing basketball, swimming, drawing, and playing the piano to get the risk of stress.

As a result

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, their learning ability and concentration will be improved in the

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lesson. Focusing only on the academic area is not only harmful to

student's

Fix the agreement mistake

students'

show examples

health but

also

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makes their capability decrease. Many people claim that future works would have the opportunities to reap the benefits of concentrating on many academic

subjects

Use synonyms

. The role of academics in our career future is vital immensely due to it can serve us in our work.

For instance

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, math contributes an important role in many majors like finance banking, accounting, IT, and securities. Which jobs demand the calculation of numbers.

Besides

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that, some others are not suitable for many science

subjects

Use synonyms

but have talent in non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

like music, art, and sport. I think schools should encourage them in their talents if they like and want to become a singer, designer, or basketballer. By encouraging students to engage in extra-curricular activities, the school can bring out their hidden talents in other fields.

This

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will help not only the students but

also

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the society since that creates a diversity of occupations. To conclude, concentration on academic

subjects

Use synonyms

or non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

I think

both

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

vital.

Submitted by vihoaithichngu on Wed Jun 29 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjets that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Do you think the advantage of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Gap between rich and poor countries. It's the responsibility of richer countries to support poorer countries while others think it's the responsibility of poorer countries. what is your opinion?

Some people think person happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting is very important. *why might this be the case *Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some parts of the world. It is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development?

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting is very important. why might this be the case Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?