At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, statistics of some countries' populations have shown that the proportion of young adults has surpassed
one
of elder people. From my perspective, the advantages are more outstanding than the disadvantages which
therefore
will have a positive impact rather than a negative impact. And I will express my opinion in
this
essay.
First
and foremost, more young adults mean that there will be sufficient labour for development, no matter is working in industries or constructing public infrastructure, countries' development will be more energetic and high-quality.
For example
, due to its large population of young individuals, Vietnam now has become
one
of the most suitable countries that
manufacture
Wrong verb form
manufacturing
show examples
products
such
as shoes, clothes, etc. It is believed that, without
such
a great amount of young and adaptive workers, Vietnam would not have the capability of making an achievement like
this
.
Secondly
, when the young and talented geniuses are employed by large-scale corporations, they usually are capable of breaking traditions and bringing vitality to the corporation.
Besides
, these young geniuses tend to be more creative than other employees, which may be beneficial for corporations to compete with other opponents. To exemplify that, Tencent, as
one
of the greatest Internet companies around the world, consists of more than 70% of employees that have just graduated from world-famous universities. And thanks to
such
an energetic component, Tencent will be able to be dynamic and creative enough to beat other competitors to become
one
of the most exceptional companies in the world. To conclude, it clearly mentions that positive feedback from a larger amount of young individuals than elder individuals is a better situation because of more sufficient and energetic labour.
In addition
, they will help companies be more creative and competitive.
Therefore
, I believe it is a more positive circumstance rather than a negative
one
.
Submitted by 785220502 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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