At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

Nowadays, statistics of some countries' populations have shown that the proportion of young adults has surpassed

one

of elder people. From my perspective, the advantages are more outstanding than the disadvantages which

therefore

will have a positive impact rather than a negative impact. And I will express my opinion in

this

essay.

First

and foremost, more young adults mean that there will be sufficient labour for development, no matter is working in industries or constructing public infrastructure, countries' development will be more energetic and high-quality.

For example

, due to its large population of young individuals, Vietnam now has become

one

of the most suitable countries that

manufacture

Wrong verb form

manufacturing

show examples

products

such

as shoes, clothes, etc. It is believed that, without

such

a great amount of young and adaptive workers, Vietnam would not have the capability of making an achievement like

this

Secondly

, when the young and talented geniuses are employed by large-scale corporations, they usually are capable of breaking traditions and bringing vitality to the corporation.

Besides

, these young geniuses tend to be more creative than other employees, which may be beneficial for corporations to compete with other opponents. To exemplify that, Tencent, as

one

of the greatest Internet companies around the world, consists of more than 70% of employees that have just graduated from world-famous universities. And thanks to

such

an energetic component, Tencent will be able to be dynamic and creative enough to beat other competitors to become

one

of the most exceptional companies in the world. To conclude, it clearly mentions that positive feedback from a larger amount of young individuals than elder individuals is a better situation because of more sufficient and energetic labour.

In addition

, they will help companies be more creative and competitive.

Therefore

, I believe it is a more positive circumstance rather than a negative

one

Submitted by 785220502 on Wed Jun 29 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine rather than following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Task 1 Process: The process of pu-erh raw tea and ripe Tea

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.