IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is currently a contentious argument over whether the high speed and pressure of contemporary lifestyle
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 having a negative effect on families. From my point of view, I
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem because the hectic whirlwind of daily activity can lead to tension in
life
Use synonyms
, creating
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 family gap.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
,with
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 the
principle
Correct your spelling
principal
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 reason is people who spend less time gathering with relatives. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
life
Use synonyms
, the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 economic growth is exacted the high work productivity and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time.
As a result
Linking Words
, it takes people
less hour
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer hours
show examples
 to reunite with
Correct pronoun usage
their parent
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, everyone
tend
Change the verb form
tends
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 to surf
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 to relax, focusing on their job
instead
Linking Words
 of confiding with their parent.
In addition
Linking Words
, another reason why I support
this
Linking Words
 notion
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 the pressure of lifestyle can cause
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
, leading to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of social interaction among families. Because less time is left for family
life
Use synonyms
, members
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 don't understand each other.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
overload
Correct article usage
an overload
show examples
 workload is caused stress for people so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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it makes an invisible breakdown. The relationship
also
Linking Words
 gradually goes down. In conclusion, I totally
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
this
Linking Words
 idea because of the harm of
fast
Correct article usage
the fast
show examples
 pace and stress of modern
life
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 modern
life
Use synonyms
 requires many things, no one should forget that love and family affection is above all.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • modern life
  • fast pace
  • stress
  • negative effect
  • family bonds
  • working hours
  • conflicts
  • advancements in technology
  • distract
  • family time
  • financial pressures
  • living standards
  • strain
  • individuals
  • family activities
  • traditions
What to do next:
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