Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

There are various different opinions on studying after high school. While some
people
see that it is an
excellent
Add an article
an excellent
show examples
alternative to getting an ideal
job
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is an excellent alternative to getting an ideal
job
. There is a big gap between the college and
business
so I personally believe that students need to
work
after school due to multiple reasons.
To begin
with, On the one hand, it could be understood that some are aware of the difficulty of
promotion
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the promotion
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for workers without bachelor's degrees because certificates are
initially
required by recruiters.
Accordingly
, some
people
could see that being on university graduate would be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
safe way to get an ideal
job
, as evident
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market in 2021 in some Asian countries. There was around 30% of graduated students had their salary expectation after two years of
work
experience.
Moreover
,
this
activity significantly provides more of their major's knowledge which would be helpful in offices. In Vietnam, fortunately, over 38% of graduated learners
work
on their right
business
degrees.
Although
on the other hand
,
business
experience after high school would help
people
save time and reduce their personal economic burden. In many nations, college fees could be probably an
installment
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instalment
show examples
debt for the rest of their life. It might be a serious problem in some risky situations
such
as the Covid – 19 pandemic, recessions,
so
Correct word choice
and so
show examples
on (you should not write like
this
... you can write "so on" unless they have enough time to
work
and save in order to own their funds.
Besides
, they start
to
Change preposition
apply
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contributing
Change the form of the verb
contribute
show examples
to their career based on their experiences
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and the more experienced workers get,the higher position required.
For example
,
instead
of graduating,
people
could start to observe and learn from colleagues in the
business
market and
then
continue myriad projects during the
first
2 years, followed by contributing their own projects and promote to a higher position in the
next
2 years. Eventually, In conclusion, it is an unchallenged choice when
people
could learn
further
appreciate
knowledge
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the knowledge
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base in subjects. But I still firmly believe that
people
deservedly to get the well-paid
job
earlier while cutting down the fees.
Submitted by trangngo79 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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