A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

#government #responsibility #citizens #safety #people #defence

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Recently, there are different types of crimes reported on TV

such

as shooting

rampage

Fix the agreement mistake

rampages

show examples

in the states. Some people argue that the authorities should invest more in law enforcement to ensure the

safety

of their citizens rather than squandering money on social

benefits

. In my point of view, I totally disagree with

this

assertion. I believe that the responsibility should be taken by not only the government but

also

every member of

society

First

of all, even though law enforcement agencies could act as a deterrent to the culprits, they can not be able to cover all types of crimes on time.

For example

, a documentary has reported that counterfeit cosmetics cause

Remove the article

apply

show examples

serious damage to the users but there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

only two police officers dedicated to

address

Change the verb form

addressing

show examples

this

problem. Rather than moving

Correct your spelling

money

moeny

Correct your spelling

money

from other

Correct your spelling

critical

ciritical

Correct your spelling

critical

sectors, it is more important and pressing to raise the public the awareness of counterfeit cosmetics.Thereby, it

also

could have a beneficial impact on the

safety

society

On the other hand

, social

benefits

are essential and indispensable for a stable community.

For instance

, people

those

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

do not have access to health care are unlikely to care for others. If resources of social

benefits

were reduced, it might cause

acute

Correct article usage

an acute

show examples

shortage of health care. Even

the

Correct word choice

though the

show examples

safety

society

is high, people still suffer from physical ailments.

This

could cause a detrimental impact on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Therefore

, social

benefits

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the cornerstone of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society

. In conclusion, the government should not move

budget

Correct article usage

the budget

show examples

from social

benefits

to ensure

safety

because social

benefits

are the cornerstone of a stable

society

although

societal

Correct your spelling

safety

saftey

Correct your spelling

safety

is important.

Submitted by jessegush on Thu Jun 30 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertainment books because they think it is wast of time. Do you agree or disagree?
Book reading habits is one the best quality among children whether academy books or cartoons. A few mother and father desire that their kids only read the educational-based on magazines at anytime instead of comic novels due to they think the entertainment-based on novels is not worthy time to read about it. I strongly disagree with this statement for the following reasons.
6
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
It is often argued that unpaid volunteer jobs should be made compulsory courses in the academic curriculum and I largely agree with this notion because such services develop strong social skills among learners and develop sympathy in the hearts of young students toward needy people.
5.5
band
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is believed that students must study History as it is extremely crucial for school curriculum. Others stick to the point that nowadays there are other subjects such as Science and Technology that are more significant rather than History. While knowledge of Science and Technology leads people to a bright future, I tend to think that through History we are able to broaden the horizons in different ways.
7
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why it might be the case? What could be the disadvantages if being self-employed?
Currently,there has been much discussion revolving around work because plenty of people prefer not to work for a company and they are keen on their own self business.In this essay, the causes for this will be elaborated on not only this but also the consequences of this for employees.
6.5
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, due to the technology boom, experts and urban planners are thinking about the invention of cars without interfering with any driver. In my view, the merits of these magical vehicles are much more than their drawbacks.

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertainment books because they think it is wast of time. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why it might be the case? What could be the disadvantages if being self-employed?