A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

Recently, there are different types of crimes reported on TV
such
as shooting
rampage
Fix the agreement mistake
rampages
show examples
in the states. Some people argue that the authorities should invest more in law enforcement to ensure the
safety
of their citizens rather than squandering money on social
benefits
. In my point of view, I totally disagree with
this
assertion. I believe that the responsibility should be taken by not only the government but
also
every member of
society
.
First
of all, even though law enforcement agencies could act as a deterrent to the culprits, they can not be able to cover all types of crimes on time.
For example
, a documentary has reported that counterfeit cosmetics cause
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
serious damage to the users but there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
only two police officers dedicated to
address
Change the verb form
addressing
show examples
this
problem. Rather than moving
Correct your spelling
money
moeny
Correct your spelling
money
from other
Correct your spelling
critical
ciritical
Correct your spelling
critical
sectors, it is more important and pressing to raise the public the awareness of counterfeit cosmetics.Thereby, it
also
could have a beneficial impact on the
safety
of
society
.
On the other hand
, social
benefits
are essential and indispensable for a stable community.
For instance
, people
those
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
do not have access to health care are unlikely to care for others. If resources of social
benefits
were reduced, it might cause 
acute
Correct article usage
an acute
show examples
shortage of health care. Even
the
Correct word choice
though the
show examples
safety
of
society
is high, people still suffer from physical ailments.
This
could cause a detrimental impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
Therefore
, social
benefits
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the cornerstone of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society
. In conclusion, the government should not move
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
from social
benefits
to ensure
safety
because social
benefits
are the cornerstone of a stable
society
although
societal
Correct your spelling
safety
saftey
Correct your spelling
safety
is important.
Submitted by jessegush on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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