A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

#government #responsibility #citizens #safety #people #defence

Recently, there are different types of crimes reported on TV

such

as shooting

rampage

Fix the agreement mistake

rampages

show examples

in the states. Some people argue that the authorities should invest more in law enforcement to ensure the

safety

of their citizens rather than squandering money on social

benefits

. In my point of view, I totally disagree with

this

assertion. I believe that the responsibility should be taken by not only the government but

also

every member of

society

First

of all, even though law enforcement agencies could act as a deterrent to the culprits, they can not be able to cover all types of crimes on time.

For example

, a documentary has reported that counterfeit cosmetics cause

Remove the article

apply

show examples

serious damage to the users but there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

only two police officers dedicated to

address

Change the verb form

addressing

show examples

this

problem. Rather than moving

Correct your spelling

money

moeny

Correct your spelling

money

from other

Correct your spelling

critical

ciritical

Correct your spelling

critical

sectors, it is more important and pressing to raise the public the awareness of counterfeit cosmetics.Thereby, it

also

could have a beneficial impact on the

safety

society

On the other hand

, social

benefits

are essential and indispensable for a stable community.

For instance

, people

those

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

do not have access to health care are unlikely to care for others. If resources of social

benefits

were reduced, it might cause

acute

Correct article usage

an acute

show examples

shortage of health care. Even

the

Correct word choice

though the

show examples

safety

society

is high, people still suffer from physical ailments.

This

could cause a detrimental impact on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Therefore

, social

benefits

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the cornerstone of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society

. In conclusion, the government should not move

budget

Correct article usage

the budget

show examples

from social

benefits

to ensure

safety

because social

benefits

are the cornerstone of a stable

society

although

societal

Correct your spelling

safety

saftey

Correct your spelling

safety

is important.

Submitted by jessegush on Thu Jun 30 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in team sports, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Psychologists have known for many years that colour can affect how people feel. For this reason, attention should be given to colour schemes when decorating places such as offices and hospitals.

Topic: Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

too much emphasis is placed on testing this days, the need to prepare for test and examination is a restriction on teachers and also exerts unnecessary pressure on young learners. To what extent do you agree or disagree?