IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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 era,thanks to the advanced technological developments many ranges of life areas have been enhanced by a variety of technological improvements
such
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 as artificial intelligence,robots and appliances .
Therefore
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,oodles of individuals are very pleasured because of the facilitates via these valuable enhancements so many
people
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 assert that
scientists
Use synonyms
 and examiners are more prominent for lots of
people
Use synonyms
 than other sides of occupations
such
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 as musicians and artists because
people
Use synonyms
 who more pay attention to
scientists
Use synonyms
 think that technological developments always necessary in
people
Use synonyms
's living standards whereas
music
Use synonyms
 or
art
Use synonyms
 is not a necessity.From my point of view,I totally
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
this
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 idea which is related to
people
Use synonyms
's support of
scientists
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 than other societies because of a valid and logical reason.
Firstly
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,an essential and justifiable point is the advantages of technological developments.Lots of scientific discoveries
such
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 as mobile phones,computers and the Internet has been provided many conveniences to
people
Use synonyms
's lifestyles .To illustrate that communication and searching methods have been enhanced by remarkable inventions.
For example
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, the phone was discovered by Grahambell so
people
Use synonyms
 could talk to whoever wanted to chat at any time via
this
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 development.In contrast,
music
Use synonyms
 and
art
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 are necessary for
people
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's mental health ,
hence
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, these values cannot provide for life standards or facilitate because their values are benefits society's psychology because of the relaxing sounds and visuals .
Consequently
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,lots of
people
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 tend to have a high opinion of
scientists
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 because of the physical possibilities and facilities. To summarize,when all of these factors are taken into account technology plays an important role in
people
Use synonyms
's life conditions than other sections
such
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 as
music
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 or
art
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 .
Therefore
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,technological enhancements are more valued than the
music
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
 sectors.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • modern society
  • scientists
  • technology experts
  • musicians
  • artists
  • reliance
  • scientific advancements
  • practical benefits
  • driving economic growth
  • daily lives
  • culture
  • human emotions
  • express ideas
  • provoke thought
  • spiritual well-being
  • emotional well-being
  • preserving cultural heritage
  • subjective nature
  • diversity
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