IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Smacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #form #discipline
Some people believe that good behaviour in children comes only through physical
punishments
. Smacking is the best way to keep their discipline.
This
 essay will argue why punishing adolescence is completely unacceptable. Adults think that physical
punishments
 to their kids will bring more discipline to them, their mindsets are based on the thought that if they are strict now their children would be more prosperous in the future. But sometimes their strictness ends up ruining their lives.
Firstly
 giving harsh
punishments
 to the pupil is disastrous for their holistic development.
As a result
, they start hiding things from their parents and they sometimes feel insecure, which led them to suffer from depression.
Secondly
, adolescents who are frequently penalized physically can grow up as aggressive adults,
consequently
, they take out aggression on every tiny thing and become adamant.
On the contrary
,
punishments
 will
also
 increase the relationship gap between parents and their kids.
Therefore
 youth started living away from their family which results in dissolving their concrete bonding. To conclude, we assert that giving physical
punishments
 to teenage is completely unacceptable for their development as they become depressed and aggressive behaviour.
Moreover
, a plethora of relations
also
 gets dissolved.
Hence
 parents should take another smart approach of incorporating good traits among pupils to cultivate disciplined and well-behaved citizens.
Submitted by niaakash on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: