Some people believe that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss on both sides and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been a controversy about whether traditional festivals should be linked with
money
Use synonyms
. I think, on the
one
Use synonyms
hand
Use synonyms
,
money
Use synonyms
can help to preserve these
traditions
Use synonyms
,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Use synonyms
, these
traditions
Use synonyms
are ruined by
money
Use synonyms
. My reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
First
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
-making
attractions
Use synonyms
can promote the publicity of cultural
traditions
Use synonyms
to the
next
Linking Words
level. Take
Christmas
Use synonyms
as an example. As we know, there are hundreds and thousands of activities that are targeted at
Christmas
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as
Christmas
Use synonyms
markets and
Christmas
Use synonyms
theme restaurants. Thanks to these
attractions
Use synonyms
,
Christmas
Use synonyms
has become
one
Use synonyms
of the most famous festivals. It's worth mentioning,
even
Correct word choice
that even
show examples
though
Christmas
Use synonyms
isn't a traditional festival in Chinese culture;
however
Linking Words
, on account of all sorts of commercial activities,
Christmas
Use synonyms
has become well-known in China too.
Second
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
-making
attractions
Use synonyms
can better preserve these
traditions
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Japanese kimono is preserved well because it has become a
money
Use synonyms
-making attraction. There are a large number of tourists that go to Japan every year, just want to try the genuine Japanese kimono; they can either rent
one
Use synonyms
or buy
one
Use synonyms
. Due to its lucrative characteristic,
this
Linking Words
kind of costume is well protected.
In addition
Linking Words
, the Japanese government has made a sizeable portion of
money
Use synonyms
from
this
Linking Words
business.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Use synonyms
,
money
Use synonyms
has changed these
traditions
Use synonyms
' characteristics.
For example
Linking Words
, Valentine's day is considered a traditional festival around the globe.
However
Linking Words
, due to the perceptible influence
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
exerted by capitalists,
this
Linking Words
festival seems to be destroyed. Because all the things you know about Valentine's day are roses, expensive gifts and so on. In conclusion, on the
one
Use synonyms
hand
Use synonyms
,
money
Use synonyms
-making
attractions
Use synonyms
can protect
traditions
Use synonyms
;
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Use synonyms
,
money
Use synonyms
can ruin their genuine attributes.
Submitted by junyiwu029 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commodified
  • Authenticity
  • Cultural misunderstanding
  • Over-commercialization
  • Staged authenticity
  • Economic benefits
  • Cultural preservation
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cultural commodification
  • Tourist expectations
  • Financial support
  • Sustainable tourism
  • Intangible cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: