IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures
The recent increase in recidivism prompted calls for officials to curb the issue. In fact, there are numerous reasons contributing to the problem, while some argue it is the lack of help provided to
offenders
, others say it is difficult for criminals to turn over a new leaf. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the reasons causing the phenomenon and solutions to it. Embark upon, one of the fundamental underlying factors is the lack of opportunities provided for
offenders
.
For instance
, after returning to society most criminals struggle to find a job due to their criminal records, and employers are sceptical about them.
As a result
 , they have no choice but to use illegal methods to earn money.
Furthermore
, some suggest there is a biological bias in criminal
offenders
such
 as the lack of empathy,
consequently
, criminals may fail to learn from their mistakes, causing more crimes to be committed.
Therefore
, the government has to provide support to
offenders
 so that recidivism would reduce.
To begin
 with, the state should provide training programs since it could improve the competitiveness of workers in the labour market.
For example
, lessons on computer skills would teach pupils how to use software
such
 as word, excel.
Nevertheless
, the government could provide educational talks and subsidies to employers so as to reduce stereotypes and encourage them to hire
offenders
 who have reformed themselves. All in all, repeatedly committing crimes does not solely have a single cause,
hence
, in order to prevent it from happening, the government should provide as much help as possible.
Submitted by mlukmd809 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation programs
  • social stigma
  • ex-convicts
  • reintegration
  • support systems
  • mental health issues
  • addiction problems
  • criminal networks
  • incarceration
What to do next:
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