IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.

#childhood #diseases #vaccines #parents #law #immunise #children #individuals #right #support #arguments #evidence
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There is no doubt that the health of
children
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 is very crucial
in
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at
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their
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a
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 young age. The illness during young days could be avoided by proper
vaccination
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the importance of vaccines in
children
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 and
awareness
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the awareness
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 required in
parents
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 to boost immunity against diseases. The immunity system of
children
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 is very weak during childhood and the body can not give resistance to the external viruses or bacteria if exposed. Because of
this
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,
children
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 catch deadly diseases in no time if not vaccinated.
For instance
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, the world is free from Polio and several other diseases due to
vaccination
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 which resulted from
hard
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the hard
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 work of our scientists and medical experts. The sense of insecurity in
parents
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 for their loved ones is increasing due to the single-child concept in society.
Hence
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,
parents
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 are not willing to take any risk on their
children
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 by injecting vaccines made of unknown chemicals. The government health authority should launch various campaigns to spread scientific truth and build enough confidence in
people
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 against
vaccination
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 . The recent example of lack of confidence among
people
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 towards the Covid-19 vaccine. The lack of
vaccination
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 and poor immunity system, thousands of
people
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 died across the world which could have definitely been avoided. Many governments forced and legalized the
vaccination
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 requirement to protect
people
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 against the deadly virus. In conclusion, I strongly believe that all
parents
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 shall understand the importance of the health of their
children
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 and ensure
vaccination
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.
Moreover
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, the government shall establish trust in
parents
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 for newly developed
vaccination
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 and encourage immunisation in
children
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.
Submitted by rafikshama on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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