IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion

#people #athletes #role #models #don’t #points
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Nowadays, with employers
emphasize
Wrong verb form
emphasising
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 the importance of communication skills, employees are asked to be able to
Correct your spelling
speak
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speck
Correct your spelling
speak
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 in public. Someone
argue
Change the verb form
argues
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 that schools should introduce
speech
Use synonyms
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
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 for children. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree with the statement. In terms of the reason why
people
Use synonyms
 don’t expect to learn these
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
,
public
Add an article
the public
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speech
Use synonyms
 will make speakers feel sick.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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 funding shows that when
people
Use synonyms
 have a
speech
Use synonyms
 in front of others, they will feel scared. They
also
Linking Words
 have panic attacks because of the presentation assessment.
Therefore
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, it is unwise to teach students
speeches
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 and presentations. On top of that, students need to pay more attention to their academic tests
instead
Linking Words
 of
speeches
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 because they need to speed half of a week preparing their presentation. It
is comes
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is coming
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to
Change preposition
apply
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the reason why others believe that teenagers need to learn about
speeches
Use synonyms
, it will be beneficial for their future.
That is
Linking Words
 because when they enter the workplace, their bosses hope that their staff can have better performance in the presentation. On top of that, handling
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oral
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 can let
people
Use synonyms
 deliver their message clearly and become more self-confident. It will be good for children’s
person
Replace the word
personal
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 development. In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
 think
speech
Use synonyms
 classes shouldn’t be added
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to curriculum design because children always feel nervous
for
Change preposition
about
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speeches
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
speeches
Use synonyms
 can encourage youngsters to show their personality, and they
also
Linking Words
 get more opportunities in the workplace.
Submitted by youhua94 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exemplify
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • humble beginnings
  • motivate
  • inspire
  • teamwork
  • sportsmanship
  • negative behavior
  • drug abuse
  • unlawful activities
  • sensationalizes
  • unrealistic
  • unattainable standards
  • material success
  • skewed value system
  • high visibility
  • magnifies
  • faults
  • misleading
What to do next:
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