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Band 5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
​Some people assume that doctors and engineers who are
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 in their areas are essential to
work
 in the
country
 where they were trained.
However
, others think that they should
work
 freely in another
nation
 if they want to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
. ​On one hand, professional doctors and engineers are vital to
work
Change the verb form
working
show examples
 in the
nation
 where they were trained as they are lots of benefits which can impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them. They are not only flexible but
also
 friendly with
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 environment which they did training. They do not need to worry about the problems which they need to face if they
work
 in unfamiliar places. After that, they need to support their
country
 back to become responsible residents of their
nation
.
Moreover
, the styles of training are alternative in various ways
such
 as some
country
 does not take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their mistakes which is happening in operation whereas others take responsibility
of
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for
show examples
 their faults. ​
On the other hand
, they should
work
 freely in another
nation
 if they want to do because there are many opportunities for them.
However
, they can get
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary if they
work
 in another shelter. The more finance they can get, the more wishes they want to go. And
then
, they can have
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 atmosphere which is full of new colleges and experiences. One more thing is that they have a chance to learn
other’s
Change preposition
about other’s
show examples
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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 and traditional things.
Moreover
, there are many developing countries which are vital to have some expert doctors and engineers. When they go to
work
 in
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of developing
country
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countries
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, both sides will have great
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
. ​In conclusion, from my way of thinking, I prefer working in another
sate
Correct your spelling
state
show examples
 to working in the
country
 which they were trained as I am a teenager who
want
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wants
show examples
 to experience new things that I have never done.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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