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Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #life #university #education
Many
people
 believe that the best method to become a successful person is to obtain a degree from a
university
,
while
 others and I disagree with the idea and think that
this
 is not the case anymore. In the following paragraph, both of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached. The main reason that individuals say that the best way to achieve goals in life is to graduate from a
university
 is that numerous employers recruit employees
according to
 the prestige of their universities.
In other words
, the ranking of the
university
 that
people
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
show examples
 from is one of the factors that a lot of organizations consider when they recruit new workers.
Moreover
, the relationship among students at the college is useful for students when they find a job. To illustrate, graduates will be able to contact the alumni of their
university
 who are working in the company that they want to apply,
if
Change preposition
to if
show examples
 they want some help with the application process. One of the reasons why
people
 think that earning a
university
 education is
longer
Rephrase
no longer
show examples
 significant for becoming successful is that there are many other methods that folk can learn the crucial skills for their jobs.
For example
, there are several educational sites
such
 as Coursera and
edx
Change the capitalization
Edx
show examples
 where individuals can study the skills they would like to enhance. On top of that, studying all of the
university
 courses is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 waste of time.
That is
 to say, some
people
 believe that it will be more beneficial to study only the skills they need rather than studying too many courses at the
university
 To summarize, there are many reasons that folk think that graduation from a college is the best measure of success in life, I strongly agree that
this
 notion is no longer true.
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Provide a clearer and more comprehensive response to the task by developing relevant specific examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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