Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many

people

believe that the best method to become a successful person is to obtain a degree from a

university

while

others and I disagree with the idea and think that

this

is not the case anymore. In the following paragraph, both of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached. The main reason that individuals say that the best way to achieve goals in life is to graduate from a

university

is that numerous employers recruit employees

according to

the prestige of their universities.

In other words

, the ranking of the

university

that

people

graduated

Wrong verb form

graduate

show examples

from is one of the factors that a lot of organizations consider when they recruit new workers.

Moreover

, the relationship among students at the college is useful for students when they find a job. To illustrate, graduates will be able to contact the alumni of their

university

who are working in the company that they want to apply,

Change preposition

to if

show examples

they want some help with the application process. One of the reasons why

people

think that earning a

university

education is

longer

Rephrase

no longer

show examples

significant for becoming successful is that there are many other methods that folk can learn the crucial skills for their jobs.

For example

, there are several educational sites

such

as Coursera and

edx

Change the capitalization

Edx

show examples

where individuals can study the skills they would like to enhance. On top of that, studying all of the

university

courses is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

waste of time.

That is

to say, some

people

believe that it will be more beneficial to study only the skills they need rather than studying too many courses at the

university

To summarize, there are many reasons that folk think that graduation from a college is the best measure of success in life, I strongly agree that

this

notion is no longer true.

Submitted by yanaphon.t on Fri Jul 01 2022

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay to enhance coherence.

task achievement

Provide a clearer and more comprehensive response to the task by developing relevant specific examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

university degree
specialized knowledge
critical thinking skills
networking opportunities
vocational training
self-made entrepreneurs
gig economy
online courses
certifications
formal education
practical experience
lifelong learning
career goals
individual circumstances
academic qualifications

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Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think the increasing and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people think that essence of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Government should spend money to increase the development of sport and art for school students rather than supporting professional sport and art performances for general public. Do you agree or disagree?