IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

People aim to keep a balance between their work and other parts of their lives, but few people achieve it. What are the problems of trying to achieve this goal and how can these problems be overcome?

#people #aim #balance #work #parts #lives
A small population is able to maintain balance in
life
,through all people trying to equalize their work and social
life
 equilibrium. Troubles in achieving
such
 conditions are long endeavour hours, travelling hours for jobs and low wages. The solution can vary from moving near to the workplace,upgrading education or skills to match higher salaries and limiting expenses. will elaborate
further
 in the
next
 paragraphs on both sides.
To begin
 with.problems of imbalance between job and social sphere are devoting the major portion of the day to the task, leaving almost no moment for family and friends.
Furthermore
, a luxurious lifestyle requires a large budget and to keep up with
such
 demand you need to struggle hard.
Moreover
, in metro cities there are long traffic queues which waste the time of daily commuters,shortening their family
life
.
Additionally
, low-skilled individuals are paid minimum available wages with a limited scope of financial growth, which means they abide to endeavour extra hours or jobs at two places living no turn for any other activities.
Hence
, chosen lifestyle and workaholic nature contribute a major share in disturbing balance.
On the other hand
, solutions can be moving around the same issues like flexible job timings allowing citizens to attend social occasions and finish needed production at their own pace. Allowing to have quarters over the job site or around the area will greatly cut down commute
second
,
this
 means better family engagement.
Last
 but not least is better skills training as well ass sponsored placement in career-enhancing programs by an employer for the employee's future growth. Companies can build social events including family members of the workers for encouraging a friendly environment among the workforce. In conclusion, people can adopt one or the other way which I have mentioned above to keep balance in all circles of
life
.
Submitted by mahesh029 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: