In some countries, people who commit less serious crimes are made to undertake community service* instead of a prison sentence. Some people believe that all people who have committed a crime should be sent to prison. Do you agree or disagree

#countries #people #crimes #community #service* #prison #sentence #crime

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It is common that most countries use people with

light

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a light

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criminal

offence

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offences

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to participate in public services. Even though some believe that every convict should

sentenced

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be sentenced

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to prison

against

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for

show examples

their

crimes

Use synonyms

, I would argue that it is essential to utilise them in communical

activities

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for a greater benefit.

Firstly

Linking Words

, sentencing all offenders

into

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show examples

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apply

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imprisonment will make them anxious and

stress

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stressed

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This

Linking Words

is because it allows them to interact and socialise with

other prisoner

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another prisoner

other prisoners

show examples

whom

Correct pronoun usage

who

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charged

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are charged

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with serious

crimes

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such

Linking Words

as organized

crimes

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and murder will impose

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apply

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certain negativity on mentality.

For example

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, an athlete

whom

Correct pronoun usage

who

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involved

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is involved

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with a minor case of the drug may ultimately end up developing connections with convicts and might later absorb into crime rings.

In contrast

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, if

such

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lighter charged

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lighter-charged

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individual

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individuals

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used

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are used

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in social

activities

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instead

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, it will be more beneficial for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and

such

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will improve their mind positively avoid

involving

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

such

Linking Words

bad

activities

Use synonyms

further

Linking Words

On the other hand

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instead

Add the preposition

ofinstead

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developing correction facilities the related funding,

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

could be used

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for

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public welfare

such

Linking Words

as health care, education and social security as it is expensive to maintain correction facilities for every offender out of the government’s money. As a consequence, more taxpayer money will be needed in order to

servicing

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service

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and

expanding

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expand

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prisons.

However

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, if increase the use felons of

lighter

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for lighter

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crimes

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in welfare

activities

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Correct pronoun usage

apply

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will be beneficial for the national economy by saving expenses as well

Correct word choice

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having free labour throughout to use

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for

show examples

public benefit. In conclusion, even though some believe that prison is the ultimate destiny for any breach of law and order, it is my firm belief that utilising offenders in social and communal

activities

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will develop their attitudes and will benefit

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apply

show examples

the economy in many ways.

Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on Sat Jul 02 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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In some countries, people who commit less serious crimes are made to undertake community service* instead of a prison sentence. Some people believe that all people who have committed a crime should be sent to prison. Do you agree or disagree

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinino? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children.

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In some countries, more and more people are hiring personal fitness trainers, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes What is the reason for this Is this a positive or negative development

Some people think young people should be free to choose their job, while others think that they should be realistic and think about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion