IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

"prevention is better than cure". out of country's health budget a large proportion should be deverted from treatment in spending on health education and prevention measures.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statment.

#prevention #cure #country #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measures #statment
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It is true that
countries
Use synonyms
 spend millions of dollars on
health
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 care.
However
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, some believe that "
prevention
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 is better than cure" and a large
Correct your spelling
proportion
proprtion
Correct your spelling
portion
 of the
budget
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 should be allocated to
health
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 education and
prevention
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 measures. I partially agree with
this
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 statement and
this
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 essay will discuss the reasons.
To begin
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 with,
countries
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 with free
health
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 care systems
such
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 as
Sri
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 Lanka, India and Canada are beneficial for their citizens to gain medical care for free.
This
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 is possible because the
budget
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 is completely allocated for the
treatments
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.
For instance
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, in
Sri
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Lanka
Add a comma
,Lanka
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 even expensive
treatments
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such
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 as Kidney transplants are done for free or for a fraction of the price. If the
countries
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 limit their
budget
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 the public who cannot afford expensive
treatments
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 has to seek alternative
treatments
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 since the
government
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 will not provide free medical
treatments
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.
Therefore
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, diverting a large proportion of
Use synonyms
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 to
prevention
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 and
health
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 education will cause certain issues.
On the other hand
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, reducing the money for
treatments
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 and using it for
Add an article
a cure
the cure
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cure
Fix the agreement mistake
cures
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 has certain advantages
such
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 as people will be more healthy and will lower the death rate
Change the form of the verb
caused
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cause
Correct your spelling
caused
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 by
accidents
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. The main cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 death in
Sri
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 Lanka is
accidents
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. Around five to seven people die every day from road
accidents
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.If
government
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 spend money on developing infrastructure facilities
such
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 as building more sidewalks,
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
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 more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 security cameras and speed detectors together with tightening the laws will reduce road
accidents
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 substantially.
Moreover
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, the authorities can introduce programs to promote healthy eating. According to the World
Health
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 Organisation (WHO) more than half
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Sri
Change preposition
of Sri
show examples
 Lankans suffer from diabetes, cancer and obesity.If the
government
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 promote farming and cultivation and reduce the price of vegetables and fruits a healthy society will be created.
As a result
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, the
government
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budget
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 allocated to
treatments
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 can be reduced. To summarize. believe that
countries
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 should spend equally on
treatments
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 as well as
prevention
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 methods.
Submitted by Chathusizzie on

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