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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful. Discuss both the things and give your opinion

#people #prison #year #crime #community #service
This
 is a well-known fact that prisons are becoming overcrowded
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
. In
this
 essay, I shall be discussing whether jails are key to
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
crime
 rate or
community
Correct word choice
whether community
show examples
service
 help in
improvement
Add an article
the improvement
show examples
 of
criminals
.
Firstly
, captivating culprits help
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
show examples
 law and order in society, leading to better control of
crime
 rates by the Government.
Also
, it has been observed that in some cases, when the
criminals
 are released, they are involved in
another crimes
Replace the adjective
another crime
other crimes
show examples
.
Furthermore
, serious offenders
such
 as murderers and rapists are
grave
Add an article
a grave
show examples
 threat to
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 and their isolation is required.
On the other hand
,
community
service
 is likely to be more successful for people who are involved in
crime
 for the
first
 time or are juveniles. If
such
 persons are imprisoned, it would provide
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
acquaintance
Replace the word
acquaint
show examples
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
show examples
 dangerous felons. Absorbing petty
criminals
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
community
service
 will give them
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
 of belonging and may deter them to become
criminals
.
For instance
, my cousin got into bad company and was involved in petty
Correct your spelling
shoplifting
show examples
shop lifting
Correct your spelling
shoplifting
show examples
. Once he was caught and the court compelled him
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
community
service
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 teaching slum children in night school. It was a
Add a hyphen
life-changing
show examples
life changing
Add a hyphen
life-changing
show examples
 lesson for him, which made him
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 person.
Also
, staying with his family may have resulted in
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 outcome. In a nutshell, authorities can punish lawbreakers in many different ways including prison sentences and
community
service
,
however
, I believe it should be regard to their
crime
 and
scale
Correct article usage
the scale
show examples
 of their danger to society.
Submitted by pravinamin on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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