IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Crime appears to be rising in the most counties in the world, especially among people. Identify the possible causes of this trend and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

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The concern of increasing offence in the world
exceptionally
Replace the word
except
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 in midst of Olde scent become serious. The causes of
this
Linking Words
 appear to be focused on two cases and
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of solutions
also
Linking Words
 to be possible. Perhaps the significant factor is poverty and financial crisis in many countries provoke increasing
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Add an article
a felony
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felony
Fix the agreement mistake
felonies
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. It means that poor
people
Use synonyms
 may commit
Add an article
a crime
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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 to earn money.
For example
Linking Words
, indigents might steal something like food or money from stores. Another origin can be family disputes that stimulate
to
Change preposition
apply
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vice.
In other words
Linking Words
, if parents did not realize
Correct pronoun usage
their offsprings’
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offsprings’
Change noun form
offspring’s
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 needs, They will
be
Correct your spelling
befriend
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friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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 with indecent guys.
For instance
Linking Words
, when young
people
Use synonyms
 join
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lawbreaker groups, they will commit misdeeds to get their encouragement. Turning to possible solutions, an obvious step would be for governments to support jobless
people
Use synonyms
 and help them to find
Add an article
a job
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will be able to handle their financial problem.
For example
Linking Words
, if the governments help jobless
people
Use synonyms
, they will not aspire to
stealing
Change the verb form
steal
show examples
. A
second
Linking Words
 remedy might be for families to have
friendly
Correct article usage
a friendly
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 coact with their children. SO, parents can participate
parenting
Change preposition
in parenting
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 classes to learn how they should raise their children.
For instance
Linking Words
, when parents have apt
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 with offspring, they will encourage
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 do admirable deeds. In summary, the factors of misery and family problems appear to be the main
cases
Correct your spelling
causes
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. Support
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the poor and paying attention to family problems may be suitable remedies.

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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