IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal?

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These days, there is a widespread disagreement on the issue of whether constantly increasing
production
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 is a positive or negative development.
While
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 there are valid arguments to the contrary, in
this
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 essay, I intend to argue that quality and the environment should not be sacrificed for
this
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 aim. The reasons for
this
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 are as follows. First of all, concentration on increasing
production
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 to excess results in serious environmental challenges. The process of manufacturing these products is associated with harnessing natural
resources
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 and consuming non-renewable energy, resulting in ecological degradation like global warming and
also
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 depletion of natural
resources
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 for future generations. Take Africa as an instance, one of the undeveloped countries in the world, having exploited natural
resources
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 unlimitedly in the past
such
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 as mining and overfishing has left the current African people out of adequate
resources
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.
Thus
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, emphasizing the quantity of produced goods would exacerbate environmental difficulties. Importantly, I strongly believe that more emphasis should be dedicated to the quality of goods
instead
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 of quantity. It has been proved that putting excess emphasis on numbers and amounts has a tendency to increase inefficiency
as well as
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 produce unqualified goods. Research conducted in two factories, producing the same fabric revealed significant complaints of the factory with more
production
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.
Hence
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, rather than aiming for higher
production
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 with short-term benefits, insistence on enhancing qualifications will offer efficient and long-term merits. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that trying to be solely the first manufacturer would be accompanied by irreversible consequences.
whereas
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, reinforcing the foundations of society through nurturing knowledgeable producers is considerably justified.

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task achievement
Ensure that you fully develop each point in your body paragraphs to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and effectively argues against the continuous increase in production.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow with clear introductory and concluding paragraphs, aiding in the overall coherence.
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