29 . Describe a custom from your countries that you would like people from other countries to adapt. Explain your choice using special reasons and example.

#custom #countries #people #choice

Indonesians are well-known for

our

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

friendliness towards strangers. I would like to describe more about

this

custom in our

countries

and the reasons why I think it is important for other

countries

to adapt. Most

foreigners

when they come to

Indonesia

they feel welcomed because people are smiling

towards

Change preposition

show examples

them and they get involved in small chats about the weather, culinary spots that are currently trending or just being asked where they come from.

This

custom is one of the things that I am most proud of in my country. Coming to

Indonesia

and vacationing here should not be too much of a worry for

foreigners

as we are always happy to help in any situation.

Language

Add an article

The language

show examples

barrier might hinder us from communicating with

foreigners

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

it does not stop us from smiling and being polite to strangers in the streets. Compared to other

countries

, mainly in the Western part of the

Correct your spelling

world

work

worl

Correct your spelling

world

such

United

Correct article usage

the United

show examples

States of America and European

countries

this

is not an

every day

Replace the word

everyday

show examples

thing. Western are more individualistic compared to Southeast Asians.

This

could be beneficial for some

occassions

Correct your spelling

occasions

for example

studying,

however

when we are faced with situations that could potentially

endager

Correct your spelling

endanger

or threaten us

such

as road accident, we should get help immediately.

This

will not happen in

countries

filled with individualistic people,

meanwhile

Add a comma

,meanwhile

show examples

Indonesia

Add a comma

,Indonesia

show examples

everyone is willing to help the victims of road

accident

Fix the agreement mistake

accidents

show examples

without hesitation. In conclusion, I personally think that Indonesians' friendliness and communalism are the customs that made my country different from others as we are not hesitant to help strangers in the streets when we see them in need of help.

Thus

, these customs should be taken into consideration for

foreigners

especially when they are travelling to

Indonesia

Submitted by serlyayus on Sun Jul 03 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

Community support systems
Manpower
Financial assistance
Emotional support
Mutual respect
Crisis
Fostering
Societal resilience
Compassionate
United community
Empathy
Understanding

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29 . Describe a custom from your countries that you would like people from other countries to adapt. Explain your choice using special reasons and example.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace human in workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have positive or negative impact on society?

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it’s a waste of time. Discuss both sides of question!

As life expectancy is increasing, people work after retirement with pay. Alternatively, some people start to work at a young age. Are these positive or negative impacts?