IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Limited money should be spent on computer equipments or good teachers. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#money #computer #equipments #teachers
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With the agreeable order of the day, it can be denied that there is a rapid growth in
development
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the development
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 of technological devices. In my perspective, budgeting
that is
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 done by
school
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 management should pay more attention to providing advanced
computer
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equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 for
students
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.
Computer
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equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 are important for
students
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 especially
at
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in
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 early childhood to familiarize them with technology. Technology enables
students
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 to explore technological features
such
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 as using computers to work on their
school
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 works or home
works
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work
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. A good education system includes
a
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apply
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good technology use at
schools
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. With that being said, money should be spent more on purchasing the best
computer
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Use synonyms
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 at
school
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 and the budget should not be limited whatsoever.
This
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 is because nowadays, good
computer
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equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 are quite expensive especially if
schools
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 want to purchase a lot of
computer
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 units at once regarding the number of
students
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. On the other side, some people might think that money should be spent more on giving
teachers
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 more reasonable wages. The reason behind it is that
teachers
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 deserve to be paid more for teaching
students
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 and designing
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 curriculum plans for them.
However
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, I have to disagree with the statement. The budget for
teachers
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' wages has already been included in the
school
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's financial plan and
this
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 number might not increase drastically in the near future.
This
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 is because rapid technological growth will overtake the
numbers
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number
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 of
teachers
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 in
schools
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. In conclusion, I think that
limited
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a limited
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Correct your spelling
amount
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of money should be spent on
teachers
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 in
schools
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 rather
on
Correct word choice
than on
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 good
computer
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Use synonyms
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 because
schools
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 should try to provide the best technological devices to
students
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.
This
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 is to make them familiarized with the technological advancement we are currently facing today and in the future.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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