Some people think the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #life #university #education

In the recent era, there is a hot debate on what procedures concerning the acquirement of achievements should be considered. A group of people opines that the far more influential method to pursue success in life is to receive tertiary

education

whereas others are opposed to

this

attitude.

Although

diverse ways to prevail could be crucial, I strongly support the former group and my reasons will be elaborated

Change preposition

on in

show examples

the following paragraphs. On the one hand, there is a number of favourable arguments about the advantage of

education

. Doubtless, the predominant reason is that higher

education

makes pupils well-qualified and competent for the workplace.

Furthermore

, not only does

education

make people versatile, but

also

prepares them to face with fast-changing-society.

For instance

, a recent study done by Tehran University is a good example of

this

issue. It clearly illustrates that educated individuals outperform uneducated ones based on their productivity and innovation.

Therefore

, the role of

education

in job prospects is undeniable. On the flip side of the coin, an array of successful occupations entail

further

experience;

in other words

, most entrepreneurs making business ideas

such

as startup groups don’t receive higher

education

For example

, Ailan Mask- renowned creator of Bitcoin and one of the most wealthy people in the world- is an undergraduate.

Moreover

, a variety of manual jobs being in-demand;

consequently

, employers pay high salaries. 2010 in Canada truck drivers got the most wage the year of all.

Hence

, the experiment has an integral influence in keeping ahead in business. In conclusion, both

education

and experience are critical for moving forward in life

although

it is my conviction that attention should be paid to the development of infrastructures of

education

to foster criteria of success.

Submitted by sania.nazari on Sun Jul 03 2022

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

university degree
specialized knowledge
critical thinking skills
networking opportunities
vocational training
self-made entrepreneurs
gig economy
online courses
certifications
formal education
practical experience
lifelong learning
career goals
individual circumstances
academic qualifications

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