People are surrounded by advertising, which has an increasing effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?

this

Linking Words

consumerist world, advertisement

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

show examples

an indispensable part

for

Change preposition

show examples

humans that surrounds them through its attractive products which ultimately affect

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individuals

Change to a genitive case

individual's

show examples

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

. I strongly believe that

Correct article usage

the

show examples

positive

consequences

Correct the article-noun agreement

consequence

show examples

this

Linking Words

phenomenon

is definitely outweigh

Change the verb form

definitely outweigh

show examples

the negative effects. On the one hand, adverts become a part of modern society and it has merits too.

First

Linking Words

of all, it

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

various choices to

people

Use synonyms

which might not possible without ads.

Also

Linking Words

, it opens the door for many unemployed

people

Use synonyms

, so that they could achieve their dreams

as a result

Linking Words

For instance

Linking Words

, In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

developed countries many companies

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

advertised

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

certain products which

benefits

Change the verb form

benefit

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

jobless

Add an article

a jobless

the jobless

show examples

person.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is the most crucial part for every citizen.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, attractive banners generate drawbacks too. It manipulates

people

Use synonyms

through its glamorous posters which

attracts

Change the verb form

attract

show examples

people

Use synonyms

towards

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

to buy that product.

In addition

Linking Words

, it

also

Linking Words

influence

Change the verb form

influences

show examples

teenagers in a massive amount through

an innovative designs

Correct the article-noun agreement

an innovative design

innovative designs

show examples

such

Linking Words

as cartoons and stickers which persuade them to purchase

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

Also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

put

Change the verb form

puts

show examples

a huge pressure on parents from their children to buy

latest

Change the article

the latest

show examples

item which is available in the supermarket

as a result

Linking Words

. In conclusion, there are many disadvantages of advertisement in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, but the positive effects

such

Linking Words

as availability of choices and employment

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

far outweigh

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

its demerits.

mauliksodvadiya

Jul 3, 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

220 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

consumer behavior
purchasing decisions
impulsive buying
materialism
economic growth
competition and innovation
personal finances
information dissemination
misleading information
cultural norms
societal values
diversity
social causes
stereotypes
unrealistic standards
psychological effects
mental fatigue
stress

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Many people nowadays spend a large of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think is is a positive or negative developement?
In modern life smartphones play a crucial role in human activity. While the overuse of these devices may lead to negative effects, they also bring significant benefits, such as helping us stay connected with family and friends.
8.5
band
You are a woman working for large corporation you have experienced a lot of sexism as far as the job promotion goes. write a letter to your CEO for the same. In your letter describe what happened to you give details on how you are being treated say what you want CEO to do for you
I am writing this letter to express my disappointment with the biased views of my seniors based on gender. I have been working as a software Quality Assurance in your company for three years.
7
band
Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are equally responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays numerous children develop a lifestyle that is not healthy. Although I think that the teacher also has to encourage children to live healthier lives, I mostly believe that parents are more responsible in this regard.
7
band
Is forcing students to study hard at shools a good idea? Agree or disagree?
Since education has become a crucial part of human lives, many argue about the pressure which is created by forcing them to have an excessive load of studying. In my point of view, I believe that the increasing of those pressures on the school and university is a good thing.
6.5
band
People have different ways of escaping stress and difficult of modern life. Some read, some exercise, others work in their gardens. What do you think are the reasons for stress? What are the best ways of reducing stress?
In the fast-paced modern life, stress is evident. Although there are plenty of stress busters available today, some common ones are reading books, engaging in physical activities as well as going out on adventures. Stress does not always come from work, there are many other ways that it could be raised, however, there are also countless ways to combat it. Both of these are elaborated on in the further essay.

People are surrounded by advertising, which has an increasing effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?

Many people nowadays spend a large of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think is is a positive or negative developement?

You are a woman working for large corporation you have experienced a lot of sexism as far as the job promotion goes. write a letter to your CEO for the same. In your letter describe what happened to you give details on how you are being treated say what you want CEO to do for you

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are equally responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Is forcing students to study hard at shools a good idea? Agree or disagree?

People have different ways of escaping stress and difficult of modern life. Some read, some exercise, others work in their gardens. What do you think are the reasons for stress? What are the best ways of reducing stress?